Highly sensitive moms crave quiet. And solitude. And order.
But, they also crave connection with human beings — but getting that real, authentic connection is one of our biggest challenges.
This dichotomy of modern motherhood is a constant challenge to solve.
It is so easy to get lost in a child’s world.
So quickly we spiral into the land of farts and giggles and silly games and drama. Oh the drama.
Or the land of tantrums and bitter and sour.
Or, my favorite, the land of messes and cleaning up.
We get wrapped up in the nuances of daily life and being a good mom that we forget there is more to this life than the children and being alone for once.
If you are a highly sensitive mom, as I am, you know how important your alone time is for your peaceful, easy feeling. And, if you are an introvert who craves quiet — but also needs to be connected to small amounts of people — this can be a difficult dilemma that leaves you feeling unsatisfied all the time.
The truth is that being connected to the world — to beautiful, kind people — around you is really important for your mental health as a mom.
When you shut yourself away — when you isolate yourself — you also quickly find yourself knee deep in the Land of Bitter and Sour.
And, lonely.
Believe me, I’ve been there. Multiple times. I was just there last winter, in fact, after being caught off guard with frigid temperatures and constant snowfall. And I have already begun a plan to keep me connected to the world around me — no matter how cold it gets.
Whether you are isolated due to multiples, many young children at once, lack of family and friends or just plain lonely, there are ways to feel more connected in this world as a mom.
5 Quiet Ways to Feel Less Isolated as a Highly Sensitive Mom
Take Yourself on a Weekly-ish Coffee Date
Find THE perfect coffee place near you and go there, sit in the back and people watch. You can even strike up conversation for a few minutes, if that’s your thing (it’s not always mine). Just being around busy people can make you feel more connected to the world around you. You can do this on a weekend or a weeknight or first thing in the morning. Whatever works for you but make it happen.
Take a class — online
There are so many classes — such as The Abundant Mama Project Online Program — to take online now that you can connect with like-minded women without even leaving your home. This opens YOU up to new people and experiences. It gets your brain working in new ways. And it inspires your creativity and problem-solving — always needed when raising children and running businesses.
Volunteer for a Good Cause
My all-time favorite experience in the last two years has been serving at our local soup kitchen. I woke up and ran out of the house by 8 a.m. every Tuesday to see the most beautiful familiar — and unfamiliar — faces every week. A soup kitchen isn’t for the faint at heart, though, but other volunteer opportunities do exist. Check with your local library or SPCA — or even at a local nursery at the gym you want to join.
Keep up With the News
It’s not easy but the world is a busy and noisy place, especially for us highly sensitive moms. You can keep up with it without being inundated with the negative and horrible. I love to start out by reading The Daily Skimm so I can know what’s going on in the world — while also not feeling like I need to get completely overwhelmed by it.
Take a Walk in a Populated Area
Being active around other people is a great way to feel a part of the action — without actually being in it. I love to walk in our local city — or on a long walking trail or hiking trail. Sometimes, all I need to really feel connected in this world is a long hike in the quiet woods, where I never even encounter another person. Can’t get out for a walk? Walk around a playground with your children and say hi to other moms who are hanging off in the distance, alone.
Staying connected — and feeling less isolated — is a passion we must never lose. We can’t hide behind motherhood forever. Being out in the world — on our own — is an important skill. We need to be our authentic selves more and more and more.
Who are you? What are you about? What makes you happy?
You can only learn these things when you take time and space away — to be in the world.
Read more in the Abundant Mama Highly Sensitive Mama series:
Are you a Highly Sensitive Mom?
Self-Care for Highly Sensitive Moms
How Being a Highly Sensitive Mom Affects Your Parenting Strategies
How do you stay connected — and less isolated — in this world as a highly sensitive mom?
Just want to take a moment to thank you for this post. It is exactly what is troubling my mind and heart this morning. I so often struggle to balance my need for quiet with my need for connection with kind people. It is refreshing to hear that I am not alone in this challenge and to be reminded of ways I can leave the ‘land of messes and cleaning up’ behind. My favorite ways to connect to the world lately are volunteering at a community garden that donates its produce to the local food bank and taking trips to the library to chat with the nice moms who volunteer there. Thank you for reminding me that I can do these things!
Oh yes … a community garden is a great way to volunteer. Still quiet and reflective — and everyone working together at once for a common cause. Love it.
Hi Shawn, I love this – great ideas. I wanted to get you thinking on another angle of being highly sensitive. I am a highly sensitive EXTROVERT. Like seriously need people, am a people person (hence me being attracted to this article :)). Noises and chaos and vast amounts of input exhaust me, but I very much need people input. It’s been an interesting road to walk – I find good results with choosing to mostly socialize in places I already feel comfortable (like our brewery, restaurants or cafes I feel cozy in…), to take some of the stress out of it. I’d love to chat more about it with you if we ever find a time.
All my best,
Alissa of Creative With Kids
Sounds like a phone call … and I am also highly energized by people (too a fault, though) so I hear you. Let’s chat! I have plenty of time right now.
I am also a highly sensitive extrovert and new mom to a baby boy who was born 3 months premature. Would love to chat with you for advice and guidance.