Last year, one my most popular posts, 20 Bad Habits that Contribute to Mom Burnout, really hit a nerve.

We operate naturally on a lot of bad habits that keep us from being peaceful, present and playful.

But there is one very common, bad habit we can almost ALWAYS blame our impatience on as mothers.

And it’s a habit that we often pride ourselves on.

It’s the practice of multitasking.

That’s right. The more we try to do, the more we can’t do. The more we try and do it all, the less we can do anything effectively, especially handling tough parenting moments.

Multitasking may be the No. 1 reason why parents are more prone to yelling than they wish and yet doing more, faster is often the way of a modern family.

What really causes the yelling?

It’s rarely just the act of doing two (or three or four or five) things at once that causes moms to yell.

We yell out of fear.

It’s the fear of what will happen … fear if you don’t do what you were doing. Fear of being wrong or going wrong. Fear of perfection for not having a clean house. Fear of missing out if you can’t go and do what you want to do or talk to who you want to talk to. Fear of losing out on time for yourself because you need it so badly. Fear of not getting a good price because money is tight.

Even if you are not multitasking … you’re still more than likely yelling out of fear.

And so multitasking and actively parenting children doesn’t really turn out to be as effective as it seems. Tackling your fears would be a better way to serve yourself and your family.

Just now, while writing this post, my daughters were supposed to be playing outside on their own while their dad mowed the grass. We’re in summer mode here so I have to fit everything in around the edges.

I was in mid-blog post when they came storming in arguing about something benign. Immediately I’m frustrated because I’ve been unkindly interrupted.

Multitasking is not always something we can avoid.

And yelling often seems like the easy solution, but we know it’s not the best one; it rarely seems to work out the way we intend.

What’s a Mom to Do?

Certainly, mothers have things to do other than giving 100 percent attention to children and can’t be mindful all the time.

A perfect example of this is anytime you are in the grocery store and you have your child along. Your eyes and mind need to be scanning for the “just right” item to purchase for just the right price because you’re on a budget, but your child doesn’t have that same sense of urgency on the type of peanut butter to buy. Instead, he starts grabbing at anything he can get his hands on.

Your mind is determined, though, to shop. But your patience grows thin and eventually you snap or yell.

Most moms have been in this situation at least once. And most would agree that trying to pick up groceries — while keeping to a budget and a meal-plan — and keeping a child happy and entertained in a cart is next to impossible to do perfectly every single time.

Something’s gotta give, but in a case like this one it’s often necessary to have the kids along. You just need to multitask.

And there are many situations like this in a week. Where you just have to get things done while mothering. Like when you need to write a blog post after dinner while everyone plays outside.

But, the key to not yell in those moments is to simply know when you are feeling conflicted and scared, and to start understanding how it impacts your patience and levels of calm.

When you notice that you are frustrated at not being able to do what you wanted to do — or finish something you started — take a deep breath and repeat a really effective and calming mantra.

My Doing One Thing Rule

I operate, typically, on a Do One Thing rule. I wrote about this in my book, Savoring Slow.

This evening, in that moment in my office, I took a deep breath and repeated the mantra/phrase I’ve been trying to use all summer. “This is my time to work. Please talk to your dad.”

If you work at home this can be very hard since you obviously have work to do and child raising at the same time on top of all the other family and household responsibilities. All the more reason to focus on doing just one thing, as I write about in my book, “Savoring Slow.”

We don’t always want to be present. We can’t always be aware and attentive. We can’t always prevent a bout of frustration.

But we can always strive to be patient and kind.

So today I grant you permission to do just one thing at a time and sit in your own frustration for a while. Savor each teachable moment — including your own.

Breathe deeply.

And be fully aware of those moments when fear is rising and you’re trying to do more than humanely possible.

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