“I always feel so guilty that I’m not enjoying parenthood as much as I (think I) should.”
This comment was from a small discussion on my personal Facebook page this week.
The note was from a high school friend in response to my latest blog post in my highly sensitive mom series.
Her feelings are not new or uncommon. Mothers are hating on motherhood all over the Internet.
I’m not a motherhood basher, though.
I don’t believe we’re stuck as mothers.
We’re not stuck in being bored. We’re not stuck in being alone. We’re not stuck in being angry. We’re not stuck in being sad.
We are stuck in one thing, though: An unrealistic vision of what we THOUGHT motherhood was going to be like and our inability to find creative ways to change our reality.
We thought more people would help out. We thought OUR kids wouldn’t struggle/cry/fail/misbehave. We thought it would be easy after the first year. We thought we’d feel happier and more joyful instead of tired and overwhelmed.
This perspective of lack and this mindset of scarcity that we get stuck in is what I call the Land of Bitter and Sour. And while you may fake it until you make it all day long in being happy … your children know when you are not all there with them.
They know when you are not happy to be around them.
You. Are. Not. Stuck.
I’ve had some bad days around here. MANY, in fact.
But you know what? Those hardest days are the ones that wake me up, that remind me that good days are almost always in my power, in my control. That finding the good and noticing the beauty and waking up for the awesome is my job, my role, my responsibility.
And when I do my job, when I listen to my own inner mother, I’m happy.
I’ve been leading moms down the abundant-feeling path for three years because it’s easy to get lost in what we don’t have time for, what we don’t have money for, who we don’t have around to help.
Feeling bitter and sour is easy, in fact. Very easy. Women have been doing it for decades.
Intentionally choosing to transform and operate in a totally different way in motherhood requires hard work. Transformation. Change. And lots of breaking of bad habits — and creating new ones.
Motherhood changed me — for the better. And I’m constantly improving each and every single day.
You are not stuck. You can love being a mother.