“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
You crawl into bed, the soft sheets reminding you that you are held and supported no matter what happened that day, and remember.
You remember that thing you did — or didn’t do.
You remember those regretted words.
The tears that fell. The hearts that hurt. The pain that cinched your whole body.
You realize this is the same pattern day after day. The same old story. The same old same old that you long to leave behind in a trail of dust.
Except here’s the thing.
As mothers, we’ve never done this before. It feels like it. It feels like we live the same day over and over again.
But that’s not true. Each day is brand new with brand new circumstances and complications that, perhaps, we’ve never encountered before quite in this way.
And every day we add new expectations to the mix. WE dream bigger. Try harder. Believe more strongly than ever that today we’re going to get it right, finish it all, pass the tests of life. Today we will feel ease. Today we will feel like we’ve arrived. Today we’ll feel that joy we’ve been chasing.
And we fail.
Sometimes a little. Sometimes a lot.
And we fall.
Sometimes softly. Sometimes hard.
And we falter.
Sometimes that means we feel weak. Sometimes it means we feel doubt.
The problem isn’t that we fail.
It’s that we expect to succeed and not just succeed but EXCEL. We put far more onto our plates than can possibly happen in a day and then we dwell on our failures because we didn’t do enough.
I’ve heard this story so many times from the women who sign up and go through The Abundant Mama Home Study program. They start with a feeling that they have to change something about themselves but that’s never it. The secret to feeling enough isn’t in changing YOU.
It’s in changing WHAT you do.
The truth is that we’re overwhelming ourselves with ideas of how we want to do more and BE more and then we add so many wish list items into our heads that seem like a great idea or seem like great self-care — things that we want to do/be/have — but then feel awful when we fail at them or miss them by a small mark and we start to believe the negative thoughts we tell ourselves that we don’t have enough time or money or confidence.
And so we crawl into bed and go to sleep feeling like we weren’t good enough, we aren’t enough, we don’t do enough, or have enough.
Tackling our thoughts is one answer you’ll see all over the place from coaches.
But that’s not actually the answer at all. Positive thinking is great and it never hurts to think positively … but taking ACTION is better.
A positive thought says … I am good enough.
But most of us can’t really believe that until we finally DO things that leave us feeling enough.
A positive action means you are finally DOING what you set out to do.
A few months ago, the women in my tribe, The Abundant Mama Peace Circle, a delicious monthly program for moms that focuses on ONE life intention each month, experimented with a 30-Day Enoughness Challenge.
It wasn’t a new thought process that changed their mindset about feeling enough.
It was the intentional actions they took each day to finally believe it. Actions that included editing out what no longer worked, what no longer felt good, and what no longer needed to really be done. Actions like finally doing those blissful self-care tasks they had always wanted to do but never made time for.
It’s easy to put off ACTION for thinking. It’s easy to put off ACTION for scrolling through Facebook and getting hit with pangs of jealousy of how other people are living. It’s easy to put off ACTION for the more pressing matters of life that really aren’t that pressing.
Taking intentional action on ONE thing that feels amazing can leave us feeling powerful and optimistic in ourselves and the life we have is the only way to feel better about ourselves. Being discerning about how we spend our time and how we fill our time is what leads to feeling enough.
And everyone has the power to do that.
You just have to choose to let go of that old nonsense and remember that today is a new day. This hour is a new hour. And every action you take will take you to where you want to be … or not.
It’s your choice.