Everything. Feels. So. Hard.
How are you handling it all right now?
So, there’s a meme going around on Facebook that a lot of life coaches in my industry are talking about …
It says that ultra-independence is a trauma response.
For me, it hit home instantly.
For most of my life, I have had PRIDE over my tough independence triggered likely by being born an only child to a single teenage mom.
Until this year.
In all my mounds of research to build my evolving next big thing … The Resilient Family Academy … it was the reaching out and up part of resiliency that has been totally missing for me most of my life.
I simply hadn’t done it for myself — not as a twin mother in that totally sleep deprived first year with two crying infants — and even very little to help start and build a thriving coaching business from nothing.
I just figured things out for myself, only to realize in all situations that I’d taken the LONG and WINDY way around to utter and complete exhaustion.
Carrying our burdens and struggles totally alone is a recipe for adding to our trauma — not healing it.
Do you do that, too?
Do you get stuck in the spin cycle of figuring things out on your own?
The little help I did seek out and receive in those early days was everything. Those people and their support meant everything to me. And I love to help others!
Why was getting help so hard for me?
But here’s the thing. I have gotten SO much smarter over the years.
As someone who basically came out of the womb fiercely independent, it’s just in me to figure it out on my own and FAR too much.
This means I have to give myself permission to ask for help, for reaching out and for working with MYSELF on knowing when I’ve tried hard enough on my own.
This is why I hired a coach for myself earlier this month.
I have also begun to truly surround myself with other powerful women who are challenging me to do better and be better. And I am letting them teach me what I do not know.
When I realized I was exhausted from trying to fight through some personal blocks — blocks that I can’t name or see for myself but big, huge blocks that are preventing me from being my best, most thriving self — I knew I couldn’t do it alone. That I needed more perspective, more ideas and more motivation to make some changes.
When we try to do it all on our own — DIY style — we end up utterly exhausted and trapped in spin cycle.
It’s simply to hard to do everything ourselves anytime, let alone in 2020.
This is the year to reach out and get the support you need to thrive and flourish.
This is why I love being in community with women. Together we are seriously amazing and powerful. The ideas. The momentum. The vulnerability. The not-aloneness.
On our own, we feel isolated and we struggle and being in the struggle is tiresome. And being tired is not who we want to be as mothers.
You don’t have to do it all alone. Ever. And you shouldn’t have to — ever.
Of course, I can’t stress it enough … it’s time to surround yourself with people who are filled with light and who want nothing but the best for you and who will show up for you and give you what you need most. Surround yourself with light-bringers.
Oh and a few more things …
✨ You can be independent AND still ask for help.
✨ You can be independent AND still need emotional and mental support.
✨ You can be independent AND trust that others can make life easier for you.
✨ You can get support that lightens YOUR load and gives you positive energy AND still remain the independent woman you already are! I’m proof! 🙂
P.S. Ready for the Ultimate Self-Care Act in 2020? I’m adding just TWO more private clients for the rest of 2020. If you think reaching up to get support, accountability and motivation is what you need to thrive right now, let’s chat! I offer FREE coaching discovery calls with anyone who is interested in learning more. Learn more and book your FREE call here.