I’m amazed at how fast my motherhood journey is passing. It seems like yesterday I was so overwhelmed with two squirmy infants staring at me, crying their lungs out, and I felt wholly outnumbered.
And now I have twin tweenagers who are largely independent and doing their own thing.
Granted, I still feel outnumbered most days but I can see them changing before my eyes into the young women they are becoming.
And it reminds me that I need to remember that I am a whole person inside of this mother body.
That I have dreams and ideas that are bigger than I give them space for in this busy life.
As I look back, I realize i’ve done exactly what needed to be done at right time.
We can’t force ourselves to focus on anything outside of our wheelhouse as mothers. We can only handle what we’ve got and nothing more.
And yet we do amazing things in each stage.
The six stages of motherhood are …
The Anticipation Stage —> Nesting + Pregnancy
This is the stage of anticipation, exhaustion and getting ready as best as you can before becoming a mother. During this stage, you read everything you can get your hands on and focus on the development of the baby and hope and pray all goes well.
But it’s also best at this time to focus on how you will manage your own self-care as well.
Too often a new mom goes into motherhood thinking only about how to care for a baby — and yes that is vital – but there’s the other focus to consider — how will you care for yourself?
Line up the help you need now before you are in the trenches and can’t think straight.
The Exhausted Stage —> Newborn + Infancy
This is the stage to focus on your baby’s sleep and your own — your Rest.
Your physical and emotional self-care is the most important thing to focus on so you can handle the ups and downs of new motherhood. And, of course, just relishing in loving and holding the little person that has graced your life.
Being present and attentive is the only must-do aside from a nice hot bath, a good nap and perhaps a bit of movement to stay active.
The “Trying to Do It All” Stage —> Toddler + Preschool
This is the stage when your child — and you — become super busy, running around. You may find yourself trying to do it all — a lot like your toddler and preschooler, who want to do everything for themselves.
But, this is also the time to slow down and focus on your child’s creativity and imagination in storytelling and play — and it’s a great time to focus on this for yourself as well.
There is no greater time for wonder and curiosity than this stage so own it.
That’s why we have our fourth Abundant Mama Pillar as nurturing our playful side — it’s so vital to our well-being and our everyday parenting choices.
The Busy Years –> School Age
This is the stage to focus on your child’s love for learning and reading — and your own.
Start reading more. Start taking a more intensive eCourse to keep your own mom brain sharp and ready. Start trying new things and finding your own liberation and freedom as spaciousness returns to your life.
Keeping the mind sharp is a favorite way for a woman to feel connected to herself — and the world around her.
The Emotionally Tolling Years –> Tweens + Teens
This is the stage where your entire family starts focusing on who your child is become and this can be a roller coaster ride of sorts for everyone, especially on the mother of the family. Loneliness sets in as your child begins to pull away and find their own path.
But this gives you the opportunity and space to focus on who YOU are becoming. WHO will you be when your child graduates and heads out into the world on their own?
It’s time to start figuring that out. Trust yourself and your child. Let go of the patterns of control that you’ve been using in your parenting until this point.
This stage requires S P A C E to be. For you and your child. That is why I created my SoulShine: Finding Your Purpose Beyond Motherhood program — a self-discovery course just for busy women ready to understand themselves better and start living their why in life.
This is the stage to start focusing on trusting and letting go – and focus on your passions and purpose beyond motherhood. This is when you can really start to SHINE through creativity, wisdom and connections.
This is the time to focus on THAT thing you’ve been dreaming of and needing in your life.
You’ve dreamed of having the time and resources to do your own thing … and now that you have it, what will THAT be? And if you don’t know, this is THE time to start figuring it out!
Of course, each stage offers benefits and challenges and ups and downs. Each stage brings with it, headaches and heartaches and lots of busyness. But each stage is a chance for you to step into yourself a bit more and to start really honoring the mother you are and the woman you are becoming.