One of the hardest parts about motherhood isn’t the lack of time, like so many women think.
It’s the lack of solitude — the long stretches of time that we need to think, to connect with ourselves and our needs and to find clarity in a busy life.
We are faced with days that are filled with interruptions and disruptions and chaos can be overwhelming and full of anxiety.
In my work as a family wellness coach, I love to help women who have absolutely NO alone time find ways to sneak it in.
But in my work as a creative soul, it’s essential to make space for my ideas and dreams and desires. If I didn’t make that space, blog posts wouldn’t get written, new coaching programs and product wouldn’t get created and books wouldn’t be published.
In fact, the single biggest source of stress for any busy moms isn’t the children. It’s the lack of time to recharge and reconnect with herself and her needs and ideas.
We see how this manifests in a family … the less time a woman has to make space for herself the more aggravated and agitated she feels. And that leads to shutting down, lashing out or just an overall feeling of resentment that leads to the Land of Bitter and Sour.
I happen to think that having a purpose beyond motherhood is the best way to make space for yourself — but not everyone knows what that purpose is and that makes it hard to make space for ourselves.
A mom who knows that her purpose beyond motherhood is to run marathons is going to make space for marathons.
A mom who knows that her purpose is to write novels is going to make space for writing in her day.
No matter your purpose — or if you don’t have one — the best way to make progress on your goals and dreams is to focus on the in-between moments of your busy life and use those moments wisely.
If I waited around for solitude and perfect timing, I wouldn’t have been able to write my novel, start my blog or this family wellness coaching community.
Because when it’s time to work on your big dream, you have to be able to hit the ground running. That means when I get to the computer to write, I need to know WHAT I’m writing about.
That’s where doing the work in those in-between moments is so powerful. And that’s when you can really start to make headway.
That’s why I carry a notebook/journal with me everywhere. Journaling is the foundation of all my programs because it’s the foundation of my own creative practices. It’s how I process the world, my ideas, my fears, my worries, etc.
I carry my journal with everywhere and jot down everything that comes to me in my day. And I do this because I believe strongly in out of sight, out of mind. If I don’t SEE what I’m working on right in front of me, I’ll easily get lost in the urgent matters that pop up in life — instead of focusing on the important.
So in those waiting moments, I’m ready to process, brainstorm, reflect and strategize my next moves on my big passion project.
And that brings me so much joy.
NEED A JOURNAL? My favorite journal is this one from Eccolo World Traveler series … I scoop them up by the handful! (affiliate link)
Some of my own favorite “waiting moments” to use in my day include …
- At the doctor’s office or dentist
- In the school pick up line
- At the park while your more independent children play
- While a movie or show is playing
- During nap time or quiet time
- While a meal is cooking
- In the shower (There ARE shower notepads! // Amazon affiliate link and they are AWESOME)
The point is this.
You have time for everything you want to do.
Make it happen.
This post is the second post in the series 5 Ways to Make Space for Yourself — And Your Dreams! Return here tomorrow for the third post in the series. Read the first post here.