Once again, we’re turning this space over to another Real Abundant Mama — this time we’re hearing from Agnes, a military wife, who shares her story of loneliness in motherhood and how she’s overcome it.
Motherhood started out as an extremely lonely experience for me.
I moved away from all my friends and family after my oldest was born and had a difficult time making friends as a stay at home mom in a new place. When I found out my husband was about to leave for a 7 month deployment I knew I needed to make some changes if I wanted to be able to make it through that time.
I very nervously signed up for the program hoping to find some tools to be a happier mom, to be able to create happy memories for my kids even when their dad was away and we were seemingly all alone in the world. I also joined to be a part of a community of likeminded women, something I had been craving ever since becoming a mother.
When we did the exercise in which we were asked who we would be if we stopped trying so hard, if we stopped holding on so tightly. Who would I be if I just let myself be …
I had this big Aha! moment and finally finally understood that I do not actually want to be perfect.
The perfection I had been striving for for years was not actually what I wanted my life to be like. I really just wanted to be a real, flawed human being. This continues to be one of the biggest things I learned from the program. I don’t want to be perfect so why would I spend my days trying so hard to have a perfect home and perfect kids, to look perfect or have all the perfect things.
I really believe gratitude is the key to abundance. I go through my days looking for things to be grateful for and that is a lovely way to go through life.
I am definitely a much more playful mom than I was before the program. My priorities are different and being silly, dance parties and family game nights have become a regular part of our days. I have made those things a priority.
I feel much closer to the mom I want to be and the mom I want my kids to have. I feel more authentic in my mothering than I did before when I was always chasing this idea of perfection and doing the things I thought I should be doing.
I have accepted that my life looks completely different from what I thought it would and should look like.
I have now realized that there are so many other moms out there who are going through what I am going through, struggling with similar things and who are also lonely.
I always thought there was something wrong with me and that I just had to try harder to fit in, to stop being different.
Sharing our stories in community is so incredibly powerful and really helped me cope with the loneliness in motherhood I had been feeling.
Having women who want to listen, who make me feel seen and heard and having the opportunity to hear their stories and being trusted with their truth.
I’m a part of something much bigger than myself and I think that’s what has lifted that huge weight of loneliness off my shoulders.
Today I am a perfectly imperfect mom living a gloriously flawed life – just like I was before the program – but I am embracing it, loving the wild ride instead of fighting it and trying to force it to go my way.
AMP has opened my eyes and woken me up to the wonderful life I have, right now, just as it is in this moment. I am so grateful that I found the courage to sign up and show up for myself.
Agnes Navarrette is an Icelander living in Las Vegas, a stay-at-home mama to two wonderful little teachers, (4) and (1) and wife to her best friend, Justin, who just returned from deployment. She was a part of the 2016 Abundant Mama class.