For some of us, the honeymoon of slowing down, being together and not having to DO is over.
For others of us, there was never a honeymoon as you keep working either at home as a teacher or in some other essential capacity and all you are feeling is guilt and fear and anxiety.
Either way, the upward climb to the land of hard is over. We’ve crested at the top and the view is foggy and overgrown. We can’t quite SEE beyond the little path that we are traveling on. We know there is still a long way to travel on this journey and that at the end there is light and hope …
But until then, there is something unfolding … a new family normal.
This new normal has parents working AND teaching their children at home both learning lessons and how to self-lead at even very young ages.
This new normal has families together in ways they haven’t been together and for some this is a huge relief and for others this is a huge stressor.
This new normal has families feeling isolated and alone and yet relieved of so much pressure to do, to buy and to experience.
This great big pause is an opportunity to recalibrate for sure. For me, I am digging more deeply into the work I do with women who are ready to pivot in their lives and to reinvent themselves on the other side of this experience of adversity.
No matter what situation you are in right now, I thought a little Abundant Mama wisdom is in order.
Here’s a checklist of reminders you can print out and put on your fridge or command station as little doses of respite in your day as you travel this tiny path of where you are right now.
- Forget perfect and ideal. This wasn’t even planned family time. You don’t have to pretend that it’s anything more than it is right now. Messy at times. Magnificent at other times. When it’s messy, say: Wow, this is a messy moment. When it’s magnificent, say: Wow, look at this magnificent moment.
- Be Bendy. These times call for times to follow and times to lead and sometimes when you’ll have to do both within the same hour. You’ll know the distinction when you stay present and focused on what needs to be done. Let your inner voice speak up and rise up to the occasion.
- Give Yourself Space. It’s OK to prioritize your own aloneness. This isn’t a need to feel guilty about but rather a vital tool in your toolbox to remain grounded, strong and content with what is.
- Let go of your inner control freak. I’ve long worked with women on releasing their control issues. And right now is crucial for this. Children are figuring out a new normal right now and what they need is a safe space to experiment with how to make this work. You can inspire and encourage without leaning into controlling behaviors that will only create conflict. Encourage their input and ideas on what will work out best for everyone.
- Prioritize Yourself. Make your morning time a source of joy and pleasure. This will set you up for a much better day. There is NO way I would be as calm and strong as I am right now if I wasn’t making sure to give myself a whole lot of self-care first thing each morning (and again at night!).
- Make time to focus on your own self-awareness and inner joys. Spend time digging deeply into what you need, what you are feeling and how to create a path of abundance for yourself. I am journaling so much right now that it’s become as important as making a meal or sweeping the floors. I am learning so much about myself along the way.
- Get Your Trust On! Lean into your trust pillar of being an Abundant Mama right now. Creating a trust practice will allow you some peace of mind that not everything is going to get done — or get done the way you want it to get done. And that is OK. We can lean into this space of trust for greater acceptance and ease.
This month, inside my membership community The Wake Up and Thrive Network, we are focused on the mantra #StrongerThanBefore as we dive into what it means to be more resilient and strong in the face of adversity. We have an opportunity right now to lean in to the hard stuff and see what good can come out of it.
This journey that we all walk together isn’t easy but it’s so nice to know that we are all in this together — learning and figuring it out as we go. The path may feel bumpy but we are all headed toward the light.
But we can’t find the good if we are so busy trying to push hard to force good to happen. Sometimes in this new family normal we may need to sit back and watch things unfold as if it’s a TV show. A very messy, magnificent television show.