“It was when I stopped searching for home within others and lifted the foundations of home within myself I found there were no roots more intimate than those between a mind and body that have decided to be whole.” ― Rupi Kaur
“Who wants to do yoga with me?” I yelled out in the midst of a rare homework-free evening.
“I do!” one of my daughters yelling, scurrying to grab her yoga gear.
“Ugh, not me,” said my other daughter.
I unrolled my yoga mat, unfurled a mound of blankets and pillows and grabbed my eye mask and watched my eager little yogi do the same.
And then her reluctant twin sister saw what we doing with the pillows and blankets and decided to give it a try.
We piled in my bedroom, stacked two in the front row and me farthest to the back and we began a true family yoga experience.
My heart danced with joy as we began sinking our feet wide into the earth in mountain pose, twisted ourselves deliciously into eagle pose and stretched ourselves in all three warriors.
But about halfway through, when it was time to sit and do restorative forward bends, my reluctant yogi started to complain.
There’s no complaining in yoga, I wanted to yell.
“It’s hard!” she said.
Just try your best, I respond.
“It’s too hard,” she said.
Silence. I was growing frustrated with her frustration.
“When we’re done can I lead you through some yoga poses, Mommy?” she asked.
“Sure, that would be great,” I said hoping she’d be quiet long enough for this restorative part of the sequence.
“It’s too hard,” she yelled and pushed her pillows away.
“Go to your room then!” I quietly holler through my teeth, frustrated that the peace I was seeking was being dislodged moment after moment.
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She was silent for a long time after that as her sister and I continued through the rest of the Asanas meant for inner peace and relaxation — and eventually she got up and left the room.
I thought she was upset with me. I was upset with myself.
During the final resting post — savasana — I was swept away into my thoughts about motherhood and how I mess up time and time again no matter how hard I try and how my daughter has this endless amount of frustration with everything that is hard.
I laid there on the earth, feeling grounded and open, and surrendered to the realization that this is the messy parts of raising children — teaching them not to give up and yet also teaching them to do what feels good.
Do what feels good. This is the ultimate Abundant Mama message I send out to every woman I work with in my programs and coaching community.
Later, when we were all finished, I called for my daughter and asked her if she still wanted to teach me some yoga.
She came running to me.
“Can we snuggle first?” she said.
“Of course,” I tell her.
After a long rest and time together resting on my half-made bed, and talking about how we can’t always just quit when things feel hard … and how practice makes progress … and how we all get frustrated and that’s OK …
She led me through her own personal yoga class starting with tree pose and ending with savasana.
That was when I unfurled my load of motherhood guilt.
That was when I placed my dancing heart on the floor and smiled.
And landed square between the intersection of loving and feeling whole.
This is what it means to feel grounded — to know you are in the right place, in the right moment and with the right people. To show up as yourself and feel whole in mind and body.
TRY THIS — As we head into this new week, I’d like to ask you to start thinking about what makes you feel grounded. Is it the way your feet feel on the earth? Or the way your child hugs you just so? Or the way you move from this to that?
Practice standing in mountain pose every day while you wait for your coffee to brew or the water to boil or your child to bathe. Practice standing and feeling grounded. Let your whole body be held up by the earth.
This is how you learn to mother yourself the Abundant Mama way.
This is how you feel grounded.