When we want something to change in our lives, we will encounter one serious obstacle.

Resistance.

Resistance is what prevents us from waking early when we want to rise early before the rest of the house.

Resistance is what keeps us from exercising, eating healthier, calling a long-lost friend.

In my work with moms around the world for the past decade, I have witnessed how resistance shows up strongly and clearly.

That resistance causes women to quit on themselves. To give up. To fall back into bad habits that cause mom burnout.

In most of my coaching calls with women, I speak directly to the fact that your resistance is your greatest teacher in knowing what needs to be done, in what needs to be a priority.

Whatever we’re resisting is often exactly what we need to do.

Think about this for a minute.

To resist simply means to combat, to counter, to oppose, to fight against something.

Hmm.

Who does this sound like?

That’s right.

Children.

Children are the ultimate examples of resistance.

Listen to this podcast now.

Highlights of this Episode

  • What is Resistance?
  • Why does it show up so often?
  • What can we learn from it?
  • Learning to take baby steps to change

RESOURCES INSIDE THIS EPISODE

Why does Resistance Show Up?

When we want something to change in our lives, we will encounter one serious obstacle.

Resistance.

Resistance is what prevents us from waking early when we want to rise early before the rest of the house.

Resistance is what keeps us from exercising, eating healthier, calling a long-lost friend.

In my work with women, though, I often lead coaching calls that remind you that resistance is our greatest teacher.

Whatever we’re resisting is often exactly what we need to do.

Think about this for a minute.

To resist simply means to combat, to counter, to oppose, to fight against something.

Hmm.

Who does this sound like?

That’s right.

Children.

Children are the ultimate resistance.

Some children more than others.

They resist all the things we want them to do, right? Eating healthy. Cleaning up their room. Doing their homework. Reading.

All of those things they resist … are good for them. Every single one.

And we know this. And they know this.

And yet.

And yet life is comfortable as it is. Messy room and junk-food diet and all.

We like things as they are.

We don’t like to be disrupt our lives to move into an area of uncertainty or discomfort.

We don’t want to the hard things. They are hard.

Or are they?

Are they that hard?

Yes, some things are hard. Absolutely. Fixing a broken marriage is hard. Helping a child with a mental health crisis is hard. Coping with a dying parent is hard.

Choosing to drink half your body weight in water a day is not hard.

Unless I make it hard.

Everything is hard when we make it hard.

Nothing is hard if we just do it and get it done.

At my house, I am FAMOUS — well, I’m famous for a lot of things but that’s for another time — I’m famous for the mantra DONE IS BETTER THAN PERFECT.

So maybe you take those baby steps to change.

Maybe you learn to let go a bit about what you are expecting IN that area of change you are seeking.

And it’s about making the right kind of change you want to see … which is what I offered last week in the Be the Change Bootcamp. You can check that on the blog now.

But your idea of what needs to change may be skewed by what society is telling you.

In the Peace Circle, this week, mamas are having really deep, raw conversations around anger rising up in motherhood. You know, when one of your children hurts another one of your children and your mama bear instincts rise up and you get super angry and protective?

Those anger moments often happen when mama has had NO time for herself. She’s depleted and exhausted and DONE.

But here’s the thing: No longer getting angry is not the change you want to make.

But society has told so many mamas that getting angry is bad. And they are then telling that to their children, who feel shame when they get mad.

Getting angry is not bad.

It’s normal. It’s human. I get angry at least once an hour, it seems. 🙂

So the change that you need to make if you don’t like how mama bear anger shows up for you is about learning to control the anger and use the right amount of anger at the right time.

Intentional, controlled anger is the Abundant Mama Way.

And then, it’s also about caring for yourself.

Because no change will ever happen if you’re in the Land of Bitter and Sour.

So now that you know you want to control your anger and start using it with intention, the question is how and what do you need to learn to do that? I’m working on a way to train you in this because I’ve mastered it. And it feels good to be on that side of things in motherhood and life.

For now, focus on your why on any area of change you want to see. Your why matters.

In the example of no longer getting mad … it’s less about our kids. They are resilient, right? They bounce back and forgive easily.

It’s about you.

It’s about how YOU feel.

If you set a plan of action to not get so mad, then you need to do that plan of action and not resist it when in the moment.

Resistance is always going to be working against you no matter your intentions. Your only job is to work with that resistance and fight for the change anyway. And that requires letting go.

Join me in my next online masterclass on Letting Go that we’ll address in a self-care reTREAT called Surrender.

During this online reTREAT just for women, I’ll be breaking down what it means to let go, surrender and start to really release what is not working for us so that it doesn’t weigh us down and keep us bogged down with stress. Change can’t happen if we’re clinging tightly to things as they are right now. So our work together during this self-care retreat is going to be learning to let go — and how. And it will be uplifting and inspiring — perfect for starting the new year. And a great way to lean into what is POSSIBLE for you this year.

The Surrender reTREAT is a part of a 4-part series of blissful masterclasses based on the Abundant Mama Way. A faster, more in-depth way to LEARN how to create an abundant mindset around life, motherhood, family and self-care.

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