This post is another in our series of Real Abundant Mamas courageously sharing their personal Abundant Mama Journeys with us — and this one is from Wales in the United Kingdom. Please welcome Abundant Mama Rhian Welham to this space today and give her a warm welcome on her story of embracing imperfectly perfect motherhood.
Before I signed up to AMP I was in a place of bad feeling, bitterness and lack of belief in myself as a mother.
I didn’t want to shout and scream at my daughter, but I was unable to find my way out of it. Our family life was one of disarray and discontent.
I had followed Shawn and the Abundant Mama project and theory through her blog posts, emails and eBooks. I was unsure if I could justify the cost of AMP to myself, but the night before it started I went on instinct and signed up. It felt like I was drowning and my heart was telling me to grab onto this life raft presenting itself in my Inbox.
I was searching for a way to help me enjoy being a mother. My spirited and hot-tempered 5 year old was ruling my life with her mood swings. I was not happy within myself. I was surviving each day until her bedtime, unable to see the joy within our time together.
By doing AMP I was hoping to learn to enjoy my life just as it is, to feel peace, to appreciate the goodness in my child and to stop the resentment about the hand I was dealt by having a child with a temperament like she does.
The very first week was my Mamapipheny – practicing gratitude and seeing the abundance in our lives. I woke up to myself and my life. This. Is. It. This is my life – there will be no other life or no different life. I need to stop wishing that I had a different child and start really seeing the one that I’ve got.
My life, each day, is full of small joys that should be noted and celebrated.
Since taking AMP I am practising daily gratitude journaling, and am aware of the little things that are ‘daily gifts’ to me from others, the universe, or myself. I am taking intentional time to look after myself through yoga, journaling, creating a personal retreat space in my home, and many little moments of self-care through the days.
I can now let the small things go more easily and no longer feel guilty if something isn’t perfect. I can trust myself as a mother. My daughter says that I am a kind mummy now.
Rather than keeping play for ‘playtime’, I now try to incorporate playfulness into our lives. This is the area that I need to work most on, and feel that this will continue to give me rewards when I get it right.
I now find myself hardly shouting at my daughter, I am more contented with family life just the way it is, I don’t feel the need to fill the days with things to do. I have made a conscious effort to connect with my husband and we are closer as a result.
These changes are making me feel more relaxed in my role as a mother, more present, and that I am still “Me” as well as a mum.
Although my life probably doesn’t look that different to how it was before I took AMP, the internal shift is huge.
My life feels a lot calmer, is less rushed and stressed, less pressured. The third week in AMP on “letting go” and “learning to trust” was a big part of this more relaxed feeling that I have.
I learnt to choose the important stuff and the idea of “imperfectly perfect.”
Rhian (pronounced Rhee-un) is a mother of one six year old girl, Poppy, and is married to a man she met at age 16 on holiday with her family. She lives in South Wales, United Kingdom. She loves to read, walk, craft, do yoga and pilates, and drink tea. She comes from a long line of tea drinkers. She is a Pharmacist and proud of it. Pre-Poppy she loved to spend hours reading crime fiction, cooking, eating, and drinking wine. Now she enjoys the latter only rarely but still loves to eat good food, has expanded her cookery skills to baking Poppy’s 6th birthday cake, and reads parenting books on spirited children alongside fiction. She is trying to be the mother that Poppy deserves to have, to listen out for the lessons that Poppy has to teach her about herself, and find abundance in her days.