So far in this Be the Change Mini Bootcamp, you’ve hopefully identified what area of change you want to make and you’ve found your WHY for that change as well as taken a bit of an inventory on how many steps you’ll need to take to make real change in that area.

Now, it’s time to set your Be the Change Goal.

In my work with women, I often hear super vague goals that on the surface sound wonderful and exciting. But without any deadline, exact steps to take or support in how to get it done.

Let’s flip that on its head today.

Today, your homework is to set ONE CLEAR GOAL for your area of change. Just one. Just one. Just one.

But first, let’s set some boundaries on our goals.

First, it’s important that your goal has a deadline.

A deadline means an actual date that you can put on your calendar.

Your Goal needs to have clear action steps THAT ONLY YOU CAN DO.


Your action steps much include things you would/could check off on a to-do list or checklist. Drink 48 ounces of water a day is a checkable action. Drink more water is too vague. Similarly, walk 10K steps is actionable. Walk is too vague.

So, for my Be the Change Goal I am trying to show up in marriage differently, I want to have established loving connections with my husband before our next wedding anniversary in May. I want this by May so that we can go into our wedding anniversary feeling happy about our marriage and each other. That would be iffy right now because we haven’t been connecting on a personal, intimate level beyond who’s picking up who and when or if the dishwasher load is clean or dirty. Oh my … yes, by our anniversary because I don’t want to go all year feeling disconnected and disgruntled.

I want to see change right away but I also know that I have to put the time in on this.

My action steps are clear —

  1. I will do ALL of my ReKindle work — incorporating my husband into the lessons where I see a natural fit to do so. Some of these lessons are personal for ME and I won’t want him to be a part of them. BUT. Many of them are OK for him to do along side me — or even on his own — and I’ll offer those to him with the hope he’ll take them seriously. AND, I will set aside time for us to do the conversation starters each week.This will be done through February 28 and will begin this weekend (we’ve already decided).
  2. Through my ReKindle lessons, I will create a list of MY favorite Ways to Lean in and Connect with my husband that fill ME up. This is not a list of shoulds but wants. This is also not just watching TV. 🙂 I will make sure these planned sacred connections happen in Feb and March — and hopefully become a habit for us going forward.
  3. I will initiate weekly and monthly dates and a budget for these to do regularly and consistently AFTER we have established a reconnection. Dates right now would be just going through the motions. I want to FEEL joy on these days. That means we have to reKINDLE our feelings for each other. These will begin in late February and March but become consistent by May 25, our 16th wedding anniversary.

Now it’s your turn. Pick your ONE area of focus for right now and write down WHAT your Be the Change Goal is and your deadline AND 3 action steps that YOU can make happen and by when.

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