We just wrapped up another round of the Abundant Mama e-course, an online class that’s all about establishing more meaningful self-care routines, appreciating your life more as a mother and (ultimately) about changing your entire mindset about motherhood (and marriage) so you can nurture your family.
As always, every time my team and I run another round of the class, I naturally start analyzing my own motherhood mindset.
I juggle a lot of things in my family. The schedule. The meals. The driving to all the activities. The filling out of all the forms. The social calendar.
And then, I run my amazing, heart-centered business, too.
No wonder I’ve been feeling on edge, if not a bit cranky (writing helps keep me sane, just so we’re clear).
It was when I found myself feeling a real pull between mom and woman this weekend that I realized I needed to spice up my own motherhood mantras, again.
The last time I wrote about mantras it was all about parenting mantras. This time, though, the self-talk isn’t so much about motherhood as it is about our longings to complete a task and being unable to do so.
In other words, Mother, Interrupted (fun movie reference).
Isn’t this the hard part of motherhood? The part where we long to be more than a mother, even if it’s just to be the cook who makes dinner without a tantrum or a sibling fight or to be the maid who wants to once and for all tackle the mess on the table.
Or the mother who wants to be a writer but can’t sit down for more than 10 minutes at a time to write anything. Or the mother who wants to be fit but her baby cries as she jogs in the stroller.
This. is. motherhood. The gray areas. The in-between. The pushing and shoving and clawing to find our space, our time, our breathing room.
And when it doesn’t happen, when it’s hard or impossible, we start to question if it will ever happen. We start to wonder if there’s something wrong with US. And we start to carry guilt. Loads of guilt, in fact. And we read other people’s stories that tell us we’re doing something wrong because we have dreams and goals and hobbies and pleasures — that aren’t just our kids.
And we think, nope, I’m not good enough.
You are enough. There’s nothing wrong with you. You are not alone. We’re all distracted. We’re all chasing dreams/goals/wishes/hopes — yes, even if it’s just to clean the kitchen.
There’s nothing wrong with trying to be both a productive woman and a present mama — as long as you accept that it does take work and practice (all the stuff we work on in the e-course) and a ton of patience.
There’s nothing wrong with trying to be a present and mindful mama who takes care of herself and her needs WHILE also wanting to be the best mom you can be.
This is how we find our happy place. And when we know how to find our happy place, this is how we teach our children to find their happy place.
So I offer these Calm Parenting mantras today to help you manage the daily struggle of staying present while chasing a dream.
For when you are feeling overwhelmed …
I have everything I need right now.
For when you cannot complete any task or wish or dream …
I’ll try again tomorrow.
For when you long for more than you have …
This is the life I always wanted.
For when it’s been a long day and you made mistakes.
I am always just doing my best. We all are.
For when your mind is drifting and you don’t want it to …
Be here now.