The books, the magazines, the blogs all crowding the world with so many positive parenting tips. In fact, the Internet has become so noisy that many of us are skimming and passing over headlines without reading anything at all.
What was once a super powerful resource has become simply overwhelming in all areas of our lives but especially parenting.
(And, side note, it seems that everyone except me and a handful of others have all but stopped reading blogs. (This post is the first in my participation in #NaBloWriMo — a mission to bring blogging back or to make blogging great again.) )
So, what is positive parenting?
There are a vast amount of definitions of positive parenting and many of them revolve around how you discipline a child if they have misbehaved. There is also a lot of misunderstandings around positive parenting that define it as being too easy on children.
However, for me, positive parenting is about respecting a child (and yourself!) as flawed human beings and being empowering rather than shaming. Positive parenting helps your whole family grow and become more resilient. It gives everyone room to make mistakes but never lets a child off the hook. Positive parenting is about conversations and consequences. But it’s also about understanding and empathy.
In my family wellness coaching sessions, we dig deep on how to nurture a positive parenting relationship because when we do focus on what’s working, abundance flows.
A Simple Strategy to Being a Calmer Parent
And, even when you are ready to begin adopting a more positive parenting mindset, just where to begin can feel overwhelming. Ideas such as these …
- Why you need to be more consistent.
- How to be more patient.
- How to show more empathy.
- How to build connection.
- How to be more firm and loving.
- How to listen better..
- How to be more compassionate.
All of these are positive parenting strategies aimed at replacing the parenting of the past that included spanking and yelling and shaming.
And in my first few family wellness coaching sessions with conscious mothers, I often learn that they want to do all of them. Right now.
But in the meantime, they are yelling and hate themselves for it.
And when they try to stop yelling, they resort to shaming their child as a way to try and control them.
And when nothing seems to work to get their children to listen, they feel powerless.
But here’s the thing. You can’t change everything all at once. You’re not wired for that. You can only build one positive parenting habit at a time. Otherwise you will hit overwhelm and your goals become more than you can handle.
If you truly want to be a calmer parent, you simply need to start with a very simple and slow plan of action. But the keyword here is that YOU get to choose. You are the mom. You are the parent. Don’t let the internet tell you what you need to do today. You’re in charge.
A powerful place to begin being a more calmer parent is by choosing ONE focus that you want to change in your parenting style.
So close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths. Visualize yourself as the calmest mother you can be. And use this simple fill–in-the-blank script to use to help you choose your calm mama focus for right now.
Today, I know if I could just be 5 percent more ___________ we would experience ________.
Interested in Family Wellness Coaching sessions? I have a space just for conscious mothers who are ready to dig more deeply into creating families that are more empowering and resilient. LEARN MORE HERE