Want to feel less anxious?

You must first ask … where is your mind?

Is it here in this present moment?

Or is it spiraling out of control thinking about all the blissful goodness the world has to offer?

Too many tabs open on a computer. Too many ideas, dreams and things to do. Too much noise but you don’t want to shut it all out.

You don’t want to miss out.

You crave information.

You obsess over personal development.

You desire knowledge and wisdom — and connection.

And yet … you are anxious. Overwhelmed.

And exhausted.

This is such a common pattern of modern mothers — particularly highly sensitive mamas. They crave deeper connections and deeper meaning in their life — but in their search for it, they end up feeling exhausted and overwhelmed by all the things.

All the Things isn’t the answer. It’s never the answer.

This moment — the one you are in right now — is the answer to feeling less anxious.

Being YOU right now is the answer.

But searching for all the things and putting them all on your “some day” list or future list or to-do list is NOT the answer to easing your overwhelm.

What does all of those magic bullet ideas do for you? Add to the piles of clutter on your desk or nightstand? Add to the reading list you may never, ever finish?

Today, I’m sharing with you the very common habits I see the most anxious women I know do on a daily or weekly basis — habits that lead to more overwhelm and more anxiety rather than less.

Anxiety and overwhelm are real. They are rampant. We have to work at decreasing this anxious energy in a positive way.

So here are five things to just stop.

Photo by Dai KE on Unsplash

5 Things to Stop Right Now To Feel Less Anxious and Overwhelmed

Cramming it all in.

Seriously. Even while raising children, you deserve and need spaciousness. Even if you are NOT that busy going here and there … how are you filling your days? Are you allowing for time to think, breathe and gain some bigger picture clarity. Are you zooming out to see what matters most — and what doesn’t? Or are you filling up every moment with cleaning, planning and doing? I have witnessed hundreds of women experience spaciousness and how much it transforms their lives. 

Doing it all

This might be the same as cramming it all in … and it is certainly related. But trying to do it all — even the things you think you need but really don’t — are adding to your stress and anxiety. The world is filled with so many FREE things you can try right now. Free challenges to post more pictures on Instagram or Facebook. The quintessential social media posts to prove your worth or success or productivity. Ideas for losing weight. Getting fit. Decorating your home. You simply can’t do it all — even if you wanted to. So look at all your WANT-TO-DOs and give yourself permission to say simply … not right now. 

Checking your phone and email.

Are pings and flashes of notifications from email and social media constantly interrupting your own thoughts and personal needs? This constant disruption into our daily life distracts us from focusing on what matters — and can disrupt our nervous system as well. And always waiting for the next like or comment is creating a desire of approval from others can create a pattern of waiting and checking and waiting and checking — rather than living. So … Turn off notifications. Place your phone face down on the counter, desk or table — or better yet, hide it in your purse. And breathe. 

Writing daily schedules.

I love planning. Planners are the latest obsession it teems. But here’s the thing: Planning out every second of your day could very well be adding to your feelings of anxiety and panic. Too much planning can leave us feeling like there’s NEVER enough time and we have to rush, rush, rush to fit it all in. All of this adds up to our own feelings of not enoughness, too.  The best planning system is one where you pick just 3 to 5 most important items and just do those — leaving space in your day to do the rest if you get to it. Or not.

Fall victim to unrealistic goals.

Just how many goals do you have living in your subconscious mind right now? Two? Three? Several? A dozen? On any given day, we might think about all the things we want to change about ourselves and our lives. Lose weight. Save more money. Find a new job. Be more present. Start exercising. Make friends. Be more giving and generous. The list is endless. Some of these goals might be super necessary but others — most, actually — are just idealistic in nature and not really going to happen. And they can’t happen if you are focused on ALL at once. Settle in. Be present. Love where you are right now, who you are right now and how you are living right now. And then just pick powerful goal and stick to it until you master it. Focus on one tiny little dream at a time.

In other words, keep it super simple. 🙂

Photo by Alex Blăjan on Unsplash

Photo by Dai KE on Unsplash

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