Every year that our children get older, a little more mature and a whole lot more independent becomes an opportunity for us, as mothers, to go deeper into who we really are as women.

Motherhood changed me inside out. And, for the better for sure. I love who I am now.

But figuring it all out wasn’t easy.

I am hardly the same woman I used to be before children.

It’s so easy to get lost in the motherlode of raising children who need so much from us at any given moment.

But you can climb your way back out with time, space and attention to yourself.

How do you Know if You’ve Lost Yourself to Motherhood?

The answer is pretty clear.

If you spend zero time on yourself and 100 percent of time on your children then you have lost yourself to motherhood and it’s time to climb back out.

But there are other signs as well.

Perhaps you spend all day cleaning and putting things right and crossing off a list of must-dos rather than spending some time doing things that light you up and bring a huge happy smile to your face (other than when the kids do something cute.) That’s a sign you’ve lost yourself to motherhood and all the demands it brings.

Later in this post I will share 5 intentions that might just change all of that for you.

female hands with pen writing on notebook

Why bother figuring out who you are?

I’m just a mom.

This is a very common statement.

Even hard-working career women often fall victim to this statement. They can’t move beyond the sleep deprivation, the potty training, the power struggles and the overwhelm.

Motherhood is all-consuming, and for good reasons. Our beautiful children need us!

When I started teaching women how to focus on what matters most, I was always trying to teach them to love and appreciate their lives as mothers while finding ways to tend to themselves in the process.

That’s why my work in my program SoulShine: Finding Your Purpose Beyond Motherhood is so absolutely fun for me to teach because it’s all about helping YOU be YOU.

Helping YOU be YOU is my super power in coaching.

The program challenges you to dig deep and figure out who you are NOW that you are a mother. And it helps you redefine the woman you are becoming.

The reality is that getting to know ourselves while raising children takes intentional work. It takes time and space. It takes creative action and progress.

And when we slow down and find connection to ourselves in the life we have, we open up an amazing amount of space in our life and minds for self-discovery, which helps us find our happy place in this life that all-too-often puts ourselves last.

When we finally make time for what understanding what makes us happy, we’re calmer and more patient mothers and our whole family benefits.

We all need to know how to stand out in the land of motherhood rather than get totally overwhelmed by it.

Now, those intentions …


We all need to know how to stand out in the land of motherhood rather than get totally overwhelmed by it.

5 Intentions for Women Who’ve Lost Themselves to Motherhood


Commit to figuring out how to make yourself happy. Stop waiting for others to make you happy and create your own joy storm in the next year. “Happiness is an inside job,” according to a famous quote by William Arthur Ward. And this is a job that should be taken very seriously. Do not stop finding time and space to figure out who you are and what you stand for and believe.


Commit to taking yourself seriously, again. That’s right. I’m not just talking about a manicure and new mom jeans. I’m talking about taking a class, signing up for a real volunteer gig or scheduling recurring time for yourself to chase after a big dream. You’re a smart woman. It’s time to use your brain, get creative and make something happen for yourself. Get on the waitlist for SoulShine: Finding Your Purpose Beyond Motherhood here.


Commit to living your life. The fastest way to sink deeper into the Land of Bitter and Sour — and lost — is to stay on the sidelines of life and never get in the game. Climb a tree. Hike that mountain. Put the camera down and just live the life — even if it’s following what your kids do for a while. And then later show them how it’s done. Life is meant to be lived. Have fun doing it.


Commit to living a messier life. Give up looking so good. Seriously. All that perfection you’re hiding behind isn’t as impressive as you think it is. Life is messy. Imperfect. Chaotic. Dark. Spend some time just being authentically imperfect for a while and see how it feels. Make some mistakes — even just minor ones — and laugh at how silly you can be when you try new things and experiment with life.


Commit to authentic relationships. No matter where you have to go, find the people you can be your real self with. Where you can talk about real motherhood issues, real life dreams with and what lights you up inside. If you can’t share what lights you up inside then you need new friends. This is hard but finding a tribe you can be honest and vulnerable with is one of the best ways to figure out who you really are.





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