A very common e-mail I get from women is asking how to put more trust in your marriage.
Big issues — all around trust, our topic of the week around here.
I’ve been very lucky to have married perhaps the world’s most loyal, homebody husband. If he’s not at work, he’s at home, aside from one volunteer arrangement that’s almost over! He doesn’t golf but he does like to get lost in watching sports or going to a game a few times a year.
That doesn’t mean I haven’t had my own share of minor trust issues. Plenty, in fact.
We’ve all had our moments when we want to criticize each other for things like how to take care of the children, or that important things will get done, or that he will get a job again when he ended up unemployed.
Learning to put trust in your marriage, though, is one of the big secrets to a happy, healthy marriage.
But, now that I have this 1000-foot view of our marriage and my belly is full of a fancy dinner we enjoyed last night, I can honestly say I really could and should have relaxed and trusted his way of doing things — which is vastly different than my own — a lot sooner! (don’t tell him that)
Here’s 5 Reasons to Put Trust in Your Marriage:
1. Trust builds confidence. The two of you may never agree on how to take care of the children but if we don’t trust each other we will never be on the same page, and that’s not good for children. Learn from each other and find the middle ground.
2. Trust eases your mind — and his. I love that I can walk out of the house and trust that things will just flow. That helps me relax. If I’m not worrying about how or when things will get done, I recharge more quickly.
3. Trust makes marriage easier. Much like how I talk about parenting, I believe in trying to make our days easier. We like smooth, peaceful days in our marriage. The less I say about his way of doing things, the easier our days flow. I have learned to just trust that his way is best (for him).
4. Trust adds to the romance. Nothing ruins a moment like a good dose of criticism. I’ve learned this. I used to criticize too much. It only caused hurt feelings. Now, I’ve learned to hold my words for the right moment and to say them in a kind, caring way. Sometimes I think about how to phrase it for days.
5. Trust adds character. Imagine if you really did do exactly what each other said all of the time. I watch and learn from my husband now more than ever. He really does have great ideas. His way often makes for very interesting moments.
Want to put trust back into your relationship? Check out ReKindle, a 6-week home study program designed to put self-care into your marriage so you can start to THRIVE instead of just survive each day.