“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” — Albert Einstein
I love that feeling of balancing on a line.
Now and then I follow my daughters up onto the curb and we walk it. Arms out like airplanes. Strong core muscles in the stomach. Zooming along one foot in front of the other, moving.
And, even more than that — trying not to fall.
It’s safe to say many of us want a work-life balance that allows us to experience all of life’s goodness while still getting things done.
We want a balanced life that gives us just enough time to get through the need-to-do list and the want-to-do-list and the should-do lists — while also having time for ourselves.
It’s no wonder so few moms feel that sense of balance in their lives no matter if they work outside the home, or in.
These days, it’s not uncommon to see two schools of thought about balance.
The first is this: There are many ways to achieve it.
The second is this: Balance is a myth that is never possible to achieve.
First, let me be clear that when I talk about balance around here, I’m talking about achieving a peaceful feeling in your life while doing all things. Even a busy day can feel balanced. Even a busy life can feel balanced.
Second, the most common misconception any of us can have is that we have to try harder to do less or change a ton of things about our lives in order to achieve a more balanced life. Yes, we can sometimes make big changes to achieve a more balanced state of mind, but most of the time that’s not possible.
Small details will make the most impact on your sense of balance — and that’s why you must start with your mindset.
If you are making all the right moves in your day to nourish and care for yourself, and making wise, intentional choices about how to spend your time, you are one step closer to living a balanced, peaceful life — no matter how busy you are.
There’s good busy.
And there’s bad busy.
I like a good slow but filled up day that brings me joy — and that makes me feel balanced.
But what if you’re not feeling that just yet.
You’re not alone.
Most of us, at one point or another, feel lost and scattered — as if our entire day is owned by others.
3 Roadblocks Preventing You From Achieving Work-Life Balance
The list of what can throw us off balance in our lives is endless … I mean truly endless. It could be anything from a child’s recurring temper tantrum, to a broken appliance to a disagreement with another adult.
Anything can cause us to feel off and scattered and ready to run for the hills of a more simpler, quiet life.
But there are bigger issues at play when it comes to our mindset and how we live our lives.
I’ve been working with moms around the world for more than four years on how to find their happy, peaceful place in this world. Their personal life stories, while all vastly different, always come down to these three real mental roadblocks that keep them from feeling balance in their lives.
These same roadblocks will likely apply to you as well.
You Listen and Worry too much about others
Many moms tend to listen and worry MORE about other people’s agendas, expectations and interests than their own — even when you know your choices will be a setback in feeling a balance for yourself and your family. There is also a fear missing out on things. You feel an emotional attraction to what others think and your choices are based on what others are doing and talking about doing. This often shows up in staying in unsatisfying jobs — even volunteer jobs — far too long.
You Create unattainable goals
You hold very high expectations of yourself that are often not even attainable. You try to fit more in a day than what is truly achievable. You are afraid of making mistakes, not looking as successful as you should or could. You also have way more goals than time because life is short and you want to make the most of it. But all those goals turn into a big pile of things that don’t get done, further adding to that feeling of lack of balance. This often shows up in creating a to-do list of amazing things you want to do today, but you only have time for maybe two or three.
You Lack a clear vision for yourself and your family
Many moms lack mental clarity in their life. They are just surviving, one day at a time. This is a normal beginning to nearly any motherhood journey — just getting through. However, this mental roadblock that is the survival mode often means not living your life the way you want to live it. You live in a constant state of reaction, fixing and cleaning up messes. This often shows up in spending too much time cleaning and a lot of haphazard errands when you really just wanted to take a family bike ride or watch a movie.
Once we understand how to clear the mental roadblocks and clutter — so we can grasp that big picture clarity for ourselves — we aren’t as easily pulled in every possible direction just trying to find our way. And we begin to be able to be life detectors who know what is throwing us off balance almost immediately.
And we can begin to make smart decisions that feel good.
And that’s when we start to find a peaceful, easy feeling that some might call balance.
It looks a whole lot like balancing on curb — arms out, moving along — trying not to fall.
If you are ready to make even more mindset changes — as well as find ways to feel more peaceful in your days — you can always start making intentional choices on what matters right now.