Raising children is a challenging job.
But living a full life while raising children in this modern world is just plain demanding.
If you are anything like me you might even feel like you’re not enough because you are never doing enough?
We really do want to do it all.
I’ve been working with hundreds of busy moms around the world for years and what they keep telling me is this: “I just want to be present for my kids.”
Yes. Me, too.
I analyzed all of my best Abundant Mama case studies and watched what was working for them — and myself.
I offered up these 10 Habits — which aren’t like most parenting habits you’ll find — as part of my group coaching program for moms to show them how to be present for their families while still getting things done.
My ultimate goal in life, always. 🙂
Because homes don’t run themselves. And mothers don’t have endless amounts of time OR energy.
We need to be strategic.
What does it mean to be a highly effective mom?
- Does it mean to be productive or does it mean to feel good in what you do?
- Does it mean to be in control or does it mean to feel understood and connected?
- Does it mean to be a successful role model or does it mean to be a good teacher?
By definition, in all actuality, effective simply means producing a result that is wanted.
In other words, getting what we want means we’re being effective.
And all of my readers in this community and my clients in my program want many of the same things:
To find their happy place as mothers.
To embrace ease in their days.
To dance with a gentle flow through routines and systems that feel good.
Well, to me and what I teach in this project through all of my programs, EFFECTIVE simply means being able to joyfully show up in a peaceful, playful and present way each day for those we love.
It’s not always easy, but when we say yes to just the right habits and no to the ones that aren’t serving us well then we are putting the words Highly Effective right behind our names.
Last week, I held an hour-long webinar for the women in my coaching circle giving them the 10 habits I really feel help us be more effective each and every day.
It’s important to remember that the point of these tips are not to do them all at once but rather to do them all over the course of your week or month.
These habits contribute to you being a highly effective mama but they do not mean you will be one overnight.
These habits take time to practice and require a steadfast commitment to doing them.
I have worked tirelessly with many mothers around the world for the last three years and I can see a common storyline unfolding for the moms who are thriving and finding this work getting easier and easier each day.
When I look at my clients’ successes, I see their journey to being happy — and effective — really comes down to these 10 points over and over.
And for fun during our webinar, I offered each point below along with a short mantra as well. That mantra can be found in the hashtag in parenthesis of each bullet point below.
While many more habits could very well be added to this list, here are the first 10 Habits of Highly Effective Mamas:
1. Take Sleep Seriously (#SleepRules)
Create amazing boundaries around your sleep and stick to it. This is the most amazing way to be awesome tomorrow.
2. Rise and Shine (#RiseAndShine)
You don’t have to get up extremely early, or even early at all. You don’t have to even love mornings. But you do have to get up with intention and with purpose that makes you not only feel good but to start the day off with a smile.
3. Do nothing often (#DoNothingOften)
We’re so busy being productive we forget that doing nothing really does count as self-care and being effective. So work nothing into your day over and over.
4. Be Flexible (#BeBendy)
I have never met a parenting or life challenge that isn’t cured by a little flexibility. On both ends, for sure, but on our ends as mothers absolutely.
5. Dedicate connection time (#LoveMeansTime)
You don’t have to be “on” all day long to be an effective mother. But, you will feel effective if you stay on for a dedicated amount of time each day. And do this with everyone you love, too.
6. Zoom Out (#WillThisMatter?)
We get so hung up on the small details of parenting we forget that the small stuff is really just small stuff. Asking ourselves if this will matter next week, next month or next year is a great way to effectively disengage from the stuff that just isn’t that important to stress over.
7. Be Kind over Being Right (#JustBeKind)
When we have a chance to be kind or be right, choosing kindness almost never goes wrong. The right part can always come later in a real conversation when emotions are settled … or not at all. But embracing kindness always feels good. It always feels good.
8. Get a Plan (#PlanBabyPlan)
As much as we want to be in the moment and living fully, we also know that structure and plans are meant to help not hinder our ability to stay present because they actually help us stay on track by being less distracted by many other things.
9. Focus on needs over actions (#WhatDoINeed?)
When we see our children act out with bad behavior, it’s natural to want to correct their actions. But, when we can stop to see what their actions mean we start to understand each other better and get to the root of the problem more quickly. Asking yourself what you need or asking yourself what your child needs is an effortless way to curb hurtful behaviors more quickly.
10. Detach (#LetGoNow)
One of my absolute favorite ways to walk in this world with more ease and flow is to learn to quickly let go (detach, disengage) of things, ideas and people that cause us extreme stress and feelings of negativity. We devote several lessons to this concept in The Abundant Mama Project Home Study Program because it is is SO entirely hard to do. And yet when we master it we find ourselves living a much more effective daily life. Let Go now.