On Tending the Woman Inside of the Mother

On Tending the Woman Inside of the Mother

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Tending: To have the care of; watch over; look after; tend a child.

Tending our inner selves is often the last great task for a busy woman and mother.

It’s often so last on the list of things to do it doesn’t get done.

But tending the woman inside of the mother isn’t like forgetting to take a bath or paint your nails.

It’s forgetting that you matter.

Tending to that woman that lives inside of me — her thoughts, her dreams, her ideas, her creativity, her poetry and beauty — is my favorite way to heal, nourish and energize myself for this busy, crazy and often chaotic life.

Tending to our authentic beings is our greatest work as mothers.

And when done well, really allows us to coach our children along the way so they can grow up confident, healthy and happy with who they are.

The other day, during our Rise and Shine Challenge, a mom who had just been through the 10-Day challenge, said that while she wasn’t always waking up early and doing her morning routine … she did have another realization.

It woke her up.

It made her think. Here’s what she wrote to me:

“So I don’t feel fully successful in the actual rising and self caring part, But I loved these 10 days because it woke me up. It tapped me back into myself. It got me back to being a thinking mom and not just going through the motions. It made me aware of bad habits and areas that need improvement and change. I had a few good mornings, and it did feel sooo good, and those were better days.”

That is exactly it. THIS is what BEING an Abundant Mama is all about.

Waking up.

Getting back to being conscious and present in our minds, bodies and soul.

And no longer just going through the motions and existing — but LIVING.

On Tending the Woman Inside of the Mother

On a webinar this past week with my alumni community, I shared a poem by Galway Kinnel with them that had a line that says this: “For everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing; though sometimes it is necessary to reteach a thing its loveliness.”

Yes, this is what we do in the Abundant Mama Project — we help reteach you your loveliness.

Or, in many cases … we are learning it for the very first time because so many of our mamas in the community — the program or the membership — never knew their loveliness.

They felt unworthy all along.

And not enough.

Until now.

And once they start opening their eyes in the work we do and thinking again and realizing they have more power and control over their lives than they realized — they can learn to see their own beauty and tend to the woman within who is there to shine greater than ever.

enough

 

This reminds me of a favorite poem of mine by Julia Fehrenbacher in her book “On the Other Side of Fear.” 

Like the Moon

By Julia Fehrenbacher

You are here in this world
to Love
to lay down the swords — the armor
to fall down laughing, to swing
amongst the stars

to lean into everything
that makes your heart flutter
to live with unapologetic brightness

like the moon

So often moms are so busy rushing from this to that and doing all the things for all the people we love and care about that we can easily forget that we are here to shine, we are here to let loose, we are here to enjoy life.

We can stop and breathe and think about our lives in a deeper, more meaningful way.

And that self-awareness is what nourishes us more deeply than just self-care.

I now believe that this work of being an Abundant Mama is the soulwork we need while we’re in the trenches — or as we’re climbing out of the trenches — of motherhood.

Soulwork is deep inner work that helps you heal and nourish yourself on the inside so you can then create the life you want on the outside.

When we are stuck focusing on just the outside “visible” parts of our lives — perfect clothes, nice clean home, happy, smart kids — we forget that WE have a whole land of opportunity to really feel authentic joy and love.

If only we tend to ourselves.

water

And this, of course, is the real journey of being a mother … learning to tend to ourselves around all the tending we do of others. This reminds me of a great poem by Maya Angelou …

I’ve got the children to tend
The clothes to mend
The floor to mop
The food to shop
Then the chicken to fry
The baby to dry
I got company to feed
The garden to weed
I’ve got shirts to press
The tots to dress
The can to be cut
I gotta clean up this hut
Then see about the sick
And the cotton to pick.

Shine on me, sunshine
Rain on me, rain
Fall softly, dewdrops
And cool my brow again.

Storm, blow me from here
With your fiercest wind
Let me float across the sky
‘Til I can rest again.

Fall gently, snowflakes
Cover me with white
Cold icy kisses and
Let me rest tonight.

Sun, rain, curving sky
Mountain, oceans, leaf and stone
Star shine, moon glow
You’re all that I can call my own.

Maya Angelou

In the Abundant Mama Online Program, we tend to our inner lives — and our outer lives.

We stay focused on slowing down long enough to listen to what we need the most.

And we relearn to find the beauty in ourselves — and in our lives.

The next Abundant Mama Online Program will open for registrations soon. To be the first to be notified, join the waitlist now. Class starts Nov. 13.
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Shawn Fink - Abundant MamaFrom Our Founder

I created The Abundant Mama Project to inspire overwhelmed, busy mothers to slow down and let go of the worries and concerns that are holding them back from experiencing joyful motherhood. Read More »
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