I fully admit that I have gone above and beyond for my daughters.
I have sacrificed a lot of self-care, and career aspirations. I have given and given and given.
And sometimes, at the end of the day, it’s easy to look back and see nothing but my mistakes. I make plenty.
When I work with women in the Abundant Mama class, though, I show them another way to look at their days as mothers. I show them how to see the beauty, the abundance and the wow moments.
This takes time and practice.
And it takes willingness. Because it’s easier to stack up our flaws than our strengths. We’re a group of humans that like to downplay our awesomeness.
The truth is, though, that if you are a mother reading this site, I already know you’re a good mother because just being here, reading about being a mother, is proof you are doing your best. And if you’ve gone through the course, that means you have the motivation and energy and dream to do it all even better.
There’s so much more to this motherhood game than being GOOD, though.
We’re making a lot of choices that society – blogs, magazines, medical journals — say are wrong.
And that leaves us thinking we’re not doing a good job.
Well, I have evidence that can tell us otherwise.
Here are 12 Signs You’re a Better Mom Than You Think:
- You worry about everything. Worrying means you care. Deeply. And any mother that cares deeply, loves deeply. Maybe this is an area where you can begin to let go … but it is a beautiful thing to love so much.
- You yell + Feel Awful for Doing So. Same as No. 1. You yell because you truly know your child can do better and should do better. You yell because you care so passionately about your child that you want them to be nothing short of perfect. And you feel awful because you know that’s not the kind of mom you want to be.
- You try and create perfect moments. That failed cutesy lunch? That was a sign of a mom that has her heart in the right place — even if the child didn’t respond the way you wished.
- You have hundreds of photographs and very few albums. You document the little things, the big things and all that’s in-between because you know how precious this time is and you want to remember it. Everything is a big deal to you.
- You listen to their stories. You watch their silly dances. You hear their complaints. You are their sounding board. And you are OK with that. You like it. Your paying witness to their expression is the best possible gift you can offer.
- You pick up after them. This is not a sign of a weakness. This is a sign of love. And a pathway to a peaceful day. You clean up after them not because you are raising spoiled children but because you care about your family and your home. It matters to you. Your child will learn this from you.
- You take her her lunch. Or her instrument. Again, not to raise a spoiled child but because over time you know these lessons will be out of your hands but while she’s still little you are her soft place to land. We all need a soft place to land on our rough days.
- You give everything you’ve got to your child. And while it may feel frustrating, you have done so because the love you have for your child and family is so important to you. This is true love.
- You work tirelessly trying to have great days. You make plans and set up play activities. You go to the park or the backyard to play and give your child the freedom they need to explore and create and express. You’re exhausted and have no time for anything else but you are making sure they have what they need.
- You lose a lot of sleep to get up in the night.
- You stand at the counter to eat your breakfast so that you are at the ready to help when needed.
- You get up to start planning the day because your family’s happiness is so much more important than your own.
About the Author
Shawn Fink is an author and family wellness coach for mothers around the world who long to be more present, more peaceful and more playful at home and in their life. She is the author of two books, including The Abundant Mama’s Guide to Savoring Slow. Her work has been featured internationally including in Mind Body Green, The Huffington Post, Mamalode and The Shriver Report. Get more wisdom via email by signing up below.
Featured Photo Credit: AJ
Photo Credit: Donnie Ray Jones