How to Stop Yelling at Your Child — and Why

How to Stop Yelling at Your Child — and Why

Have you ever yelled at your child?

Have you ever felt BAD for yelling at your child?

Yelling is the new spanking — the latest parenting tool that isn’t good for our children. And, research shows that children are becoming more defiant because of the change toward more positive styles of parenting.

Research also shows, though, that when children are raised in a positive and loving home grow up to be more positive and loving themselves. Using hostility and threats to get children to “behave” or “be good” isn’t necessarily effective for raising good humans, in other words.

I’m not here to advocate for you to stop yelling overnight. I am not going to offer you a 10-point plan to stop yelling in 30 days. I’m not going to make you feel guilty for yelling.

I’m here — this project is here — to advocate for you to start living a more peaceful, abundant and awakened life. Period.

All of it. From the minute you wake until the minute you go to sleep at night. From how you create routines and rituals and family traditions to finding new ways to make each day full of joy and delight.

The only way to really stop yelling at your kids is to have a completely different mindset about how a family functions. And that’s how you address all of those reasons you are still yelling at your kids.

This Abundant Mama Project is about doing everything differently, not just yelling.

So, why bother with this project?

Peace, Love And Kind Rocks

Because you know deep down a change is needed.

A big change. Not just a temporary fix.

What does work?

Changing a family culture is what works. Changing how you see your child on a daily basis works. Changing how you see your role in your family is what works.

Changing these daily interactions — yours and your child’s — is not a once-and-done fix, though.

There is no bandaid to stop yelling anymore than there is help your defiant child that confronts you daily with tantrums that are harsh and exhausting. There is no magic bullet to help a mother cope with a partner who is gone for weeks or months at a time. There is no special elixir to drink to help you finally get the much-needed help you need if family is not willing to go out of their way for you.

The only thing that works is creating a peaceful home that evokes love and encouragement — in all areas of your life. No more bitterness. No more resentment. No more unrealistic expectations. No more chasing perfection. No more keeping track of who’s done more or less.

The Abundant Mama Program has been reducing the yelling in homes around the world for two years — since the very beginning — and we’ve never once talked about how NOT to yell in the course. In fact, it’s not even the main goal of the program.

It just happens.

How?

By showing you how to do things differently.

And it gives you support from other moms who. just. get. it.

You just cannot keep doing things as usual. Well, you can but … 

The same old routines, the same old expectations will get you the same old results.

How to Stop Yelling

To stop yelling requires deep inner work. It requires an entire shift in your parenting perspective. It requires an entire thought-process that doesn’t come straight from a place of control and lack.

It all comes from a place of love and abundance. Of sincere gratitude and genuine support.

I’m so proud of the way this course has been changing families in many ways all over the world.

Yelling less is just one of the many outcomes. We’ve also saved marriages! Helped women stop smoking. Inspired women to create businesses. The AMP world is a special place.

If you want real systemic change, though, sign up for the course. Registrations for everyone will begin soon.

DISCUSS: WHAT HAVE YOU TRIED TO DO TO STOP YELLING?

4 Responses to How to Stop Yelling at Your Child — and Why

  1. Hi,

    I hear you, and as a therapist and a Positive Discipline educator, I believe you, understand and agree. When I am able to teach an 8 to 16 hour course, we get to the belief behind the behavior and are able to take the time necessary to open the opportunity for a parental approach shift. But few are able or willing to make an 8 week commitment, so I meet people where they are. Skill based learning can help, if you want to build up confidence for making a change. And I agree, lasting change takes time, and often a parental shift.

    Best,
    Catherine Gruener

      • Hi Shawn,
        I so agree and love what you are doing at abundant mama. I think that it takes courage. The courage to look at ourselves, make peace with our past, desire to learn not only from our mistakes but from trusted others and our children, and a belief in our ability to not only foster and strengthen our relationships, but to attempt to accept ourselves and be our best selves (where ever that may be today and each day). Yes….a life long journey.

  2. Shawn, that you so much for spreading your light in the world!!! Like Catherine, I am a Positive Discipline Trainer and my favorite part of my job is that by week 3 or 4 the parents say “Oh, this isn’t about my kids, this is about me!!!” That is when I know the shift is happening and it is so exciting :) IT all starts with awareness, then making a choice to show up differently, then a PRACTICE for being the best version of yourself.
    Thank you!

    Casey


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Shawn Fink - Abundant MamaFrom Our Founder

I created The Abundant Mama Project to inspire overwhelmed, busy mothers to slow down and let go of the worries and concerns that are holding them back from experiencing joyful motherhood. Read More »
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