6 Candid Reasons You’re an Isolated Mom

6 Candid Reasons You’re an Isolated Mom

In my last post, I mentioned my latest secret mission that began in January to help create an awareness of the large number of lonely moms who are raising children.

Except really … the mission began long ago.

Probably with my first blog post. Long before I had ever thought about writing a book or creating an e-course or even becoming a family wellness coach.

It started with my own story of being an isolated mom.

And, frankly, if it weren’t for this community that I’ve created I would probably still feel lonely most of the time.

But, in the middle of a bitter cold streak at home, with my children, and my husband sleeping out of town for work so he didn’t have to travel in the snow, I realized something.

There I was standing ALONE in the sunniest patch of our kitchen waiting on lunch to warm up when it hit me.

I need to write more about loneliness and WHY we’re lonely.

It’s not ME. It’s not YOU.

It’s everything else but you, in fact. The story is the lonely part. Not us.

The feelings of loneliness in motherhood is real and it’s not anything to be ashamed about — you are just living and doing what you need to do.

But there are some ways we create a lonelier path for ourselves. Like it or not.

 

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I have good anecdotal evidence from my coaching circle of mamas around the world that the less support a mom has the more likely she is to get angry and lose her temper.

Which really means if a mom felt like she had support to help take on the demands of raising children well she would probably turn to them — instead of yelling.

But, as we know, there are so many women raising little children in isolation now.

Is it no wonder there is so much chatter about yelling then?

But why is that?

Well, here are 6 Candid Reasons You’re an Isolated Mom.

Solo-Parenting

More and more families are torn apart not just by divorce but also by partners working out of town, out of state and even out of the country. What’s left is a mom — or a dad — left behind to carry the entire house and parenting load. The responsibilities to cook, clean and care for temperamental children are immense.

Geography

Where you live may be contributing to your loneliness. This doesn’t mean put your house up for sale, by the way. It just means that this is the luck of the draw. You can never predict these things. Some neighbors are just not that into socializing. Or, maybe your neighbor is the local deer and while they are pretty they don’t really get book clubs and moms night out.

Money

Let’s face it. If you had a crap-ton of money you might be able to have more chances to meet others. At the fitness center. At the country club. At the paint-your-own rip off plate place. But, let’s face it even more … that might not be your thing anyway. Which leads me to No. 3 …

You don’t think like other moms

You don’t diet. You don’t read celebrity news. You may not even really go to church. But you believe in magic and blissful moments and you want to talk. I mean really talk. But all that the moms in the pick up line at school wants to chat about is last night’s homework or what to dress the kids in for the weather.

Your rigid routines are keeping you down

A good, solid routine helps us get good night’s sleep and keep an orderly house. It makes for happier kids and even happier families. But, it might be that rigid “We have to be in bed by 8 p.m” that’s keeping you from connecting to others. This is a moment of sacrifice for sanity. This is not anything to feel guilt over.

Your kids’ ages and stages (and your own)

When my best friend from high school had her kids, I was totally 100 percent single and working 60-hours a week as a new journalist. When I became a mother, her kids were school-age and she was dealing with homework battles and friendship dramas. When you can tap into a group with kids in the similar stage, it’s a great way to make connections. Otherwise, it’s hard to stay on the same page.

You’re an introvert

Perhaps the hardest one of all. You are an introvert. You need one-on-one conversations not full-blown moms night out events. But asking another mom to go to dinner is hard. And while you want friendship, being out and about is exhausting for you. No wonder you stay home all the time.

Discuss: Have you felt loneliness as a mother? What have you tried to do about it?
Lonely, Mama?

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81 Responses to 6 Candid Reasons You’re an Isolated Mom

  1. The last one. Absolutely. It’s like I know I need to put myself out there more, but that thought is both terrifying and exhausting! That’s one reason I love the blogging community, but I do think we need “real life” people every day too. Now to just make that happen! Thanks for remind me of that today!

    • It is so hard, Meg. So. Hard. And, if you’re like me … you’ve tried and the other person/people do not reciprocate.

      • Yes, I’ve been there! I’ve tried to make friends and went out of my comfort zone to ask another mother over for a play date and she seemed to say sure like one day in the future when we can get our husbands together too. Why all the hassle? Why can’t we just have a girls day with the kids?

  2. Great post. I’ll also add that my husband feels it too. We did some things in our lives backward. We didn’t meet until we were a little older and went to college later. I had my two youngest in my 40’s and all of our friends have kids in college. They go out a lot to bars, travel, and are thinking of retirement. We are in full swing family life (and LOVING it). We would still like to have some game nights or something with other couples. We are on the lookout for friends, but it’s hard at this stage. It also doesn’t make it easier that we tend to think a bit differently then the people we know.

  3. Wow, I did not realize how much it was the last one until I read, “You need one-on-one conversations not full-blown moms night out events. But asking another mom to go to dinner is hard.” I had never considered just asking another one of my friends to go out to dinner, just one-on-one. But man, that sounds like it would be so nice! I get invited to social events, and I just feel like I have to be so “on” with my kids all the time- they constantly require my attention, my input, my advice- when I do get invited to an event I usually have to talk myself into it, and if I do go I usually do it with the hope that I’ll get to have a good conversation with someone. But when I first arrive I am usually very quiet and reserved. I don’t know why I never put two and two together before. Thank you for this ‘aha’ moment! :-)

  4. I can relate with all of these. I especially relate to I dont think like other moms and we have a very rigid schedule.
    A really big one for me, though, is that I have so so so very little alone time, that when I get it, I dont want to socialize, I just want to be alone.

    • I feel the same! Quiet alone time is so hard to come by… It seems everything is a trade off… Time to myself or time to socialize??

    • Yes! This. I try explaining this to my husband! I don’t even watch TV much anymore because it’s so nice to just have silence in the few moments of free time!

        • I don’t like TV and I’m so bored. BTW my kids are teens and you would think I would be happy about it. Fact is, the sacrifice it takes to raise kids well in today’s world is at the expense of momma. I know it will be over in 3-4 years but in the meantime I’m trying like hell to look interested as I listen to drama and then get the car keys to drive them somewhere! Lord will they please go to bed! The music is giving me a headache!

  5. Between being a 3rd shifter and an introvert, it’s next to impossible for me to make connections. And like you, I’ve tried and it hasn’t been reciprocated. It’s so hard and I definitely feel like if I had more support I could be a much more Abundant Mama. I want it…I just don’t know how to make it happen. :(

    • It’s just not easy. Third shift is definitely a challenge for you. I would love it if you joined us in the program sometime this year. You can be a part of a group even while working if you have some computer access. xx

  6. I found your blog last spring and you just always seemed to be right in my head. This post you hit the mark again. I live a city with lots of my friends but we are lucky if we see each other 1 or 2 a year. The introvert in me would always feel so guilty as I found mom groups so draining. I love the community in the abundant mama project. You are tuned in to mothers.

    • I love when people think I’ve been eavesdropping on them. :) Someone called me the Yoda of Moms and that really just sums it up. I’m an extreme introvert, too, so at the end of a day with kids I’m ready to hibernate in solitude. Glad you’re here, Bonnie!

  7. I am an extrovert but what keeps me lonely is being a military spouse. I am not that in to being one so connecting within the military community is hard. My husband is from a small unit and we move every 2 years. I find it hard to meet people and make connections. I do every time but it takes longer and gets harder.

    We have been where we are for 2 years and I hear we are slated to move somewhere else soon. Just as I was making deep connections.

    • That must be so hard, Amanda. You would be greatly served by joining my program — to make some connections that can travel with you == virtually, of course.

    • Military spouse-dom is SO lonely. I’ve only felt like part of the military community since moving to England about three years ago. I’m starting to see that the “locals” are pretty dismissive of military mamas and keep relationships at a superficial level. Throw in months of solo parenting and the ebb and flow of other families’ assignments and you’re feeling pretty isolated a lot of the time.

  8. I had my first child when I was very young and single so couldn’t relate to many of the other mothers I came into contact with. Now with my second child I live in a foreign country with a language barrier and it’s taking a long time to develop relationships.

    In both of these situations I attempted mother/child groups for years but never had any luck making connections. Eventually I had look outside of those groups and found the best way to meet other people was through other things I was doing, ie. classes I was taking.

    It might seem really strange, but I also found making connections went faster when I didn’t immediately offer that I was a mom. I think that might have something to do with the fact that people have the impression that either you don’t have free time or are not necessary interested in doing certain things if you’re a mother.

    I also found that with geographical issues and long winters, making phone or Skype appointments are great and can be just as satisfying as meeting up with someone in person.

    • Interesting thought about not mentioning you’re a mom! Love the Skype idea. A friend and I did that on a snow day this winter with our kids.

  9. I have definitely felt a sort of loneliness at times. I was late to being a SAHM, so it seemed many friendships were formed by the time school started for my oldest. Money and not thinking like other moms are so spot on for me, as well. I live in a very affluent area in a rental home, but my husband is a high school teacher and we have to really budget. I can not afford the gym, days at Nordstrom or daily Starbucks meet-ups. I have made some great friendships here, but at times feel a bit left out because of our situation. When I am feeling down, I just reach out, even by text, to my friends that I relate to more, just to have a quick conversation with. It really helps me.

  10. This really speaks to me! I was working two jobs before the little one came and I became a stay at home mom. I live 15 hours from my family and my husband is in the process of switching careers, which is requiring some intensive after-hours work. Even when he is home, he’s not really present. It’s so hard to meet other women that you can have a connection with when your roots are somewhere else.

    • I’m so glad you found this community. I get the whole family-in-another-place situation completely. I am learning more and more that this is a real issue for so many of us.

  11. Hi,
    i move to a new city with my family.i have 3 kids 6,7,8 years.my husband works 8-12 hours aday & sometimes more.i am alone.i am afraid,is it true being alone affact mental health.

  12. This is a great post. I can relate to all of these! Lately I’ve started to let go of our rigid schedule. Missing a nap or stretching a bed time isn’t the end of the world after all!

    I went from career woman to sometimes-solo SAHM thousands of miles from home in a matter of a few months. It wasn’t something I dreamt of for myself and found the reality of it to be jarring. It has been a tough and ugly journey through it. I’m so glad to have found your site! It’s clear there is a lot of really inspiring information here.

  13. Just found this website! Love the content! Lonely? Story of my post college life! I have lived in my town 13 yrs and have a few acquaintances that is about it. I always had friends in high school and in graduate school. But feel it impossible as a middle aged adult who had kins in her mid 30’s and is a working mom (3 long days per week 7-7) I have 4 days a week off where I try to give 100% to the kids. I feel lots of mommy guilt if I’m not with them. Between music lessons and karate I feel overbooked! 2 kids 3&5 keep me busy! My husband and I go out once every 5 months?.. He is not much of a chatter. So he cannot replace woman companionship . Meeting other moms is hard .the fact that I’m a doctor/ business owner seems to scare other moms . I have kind of given up it seems most moms are happy with their inner circle and don’t feel the loneliness .many have family nearby and are born and raised here. The funny thing is when I’m on vacation I meet so many great moms and say to my husband why can’t that happen at home! Anyways happy to have found this blog lots of great info

  14. I am so happy I have found this site! I was just telling my husband last night how much I miss having girlfriends. We were married very young and had our first shortly after. For the past 6 years, my life has revolved around getting my degree, taking care of my girls, and trying to make ends meet. I simply don’t HAVE TIME or the resources ($$$) to go out and make friends. On top of that, the thought of going out and meeting new people makes me nauseous! I only have one friend that I am close to, but even with her, we are so different that we rarely go out anywhere.
    I guess what I am trying to say is that it is so nice to know that I am not the only mom that feels alone.

  15. I can’t tell you how much everything in this post is a YES.

    It’s so true…I find myself yelling and I feel sick about it later. But being isolated and at the end of your rope with no physical support really takes a toll on a person mentally and emotionally.

  16. I’m a mother of four and I’m so isolated just by the work that 4 kids create. Washing, tidying, shopping, cleaning…then I’m so exhausted by 8pm that i pass out at bedtime before the children do half the time. I read Facebook and just feel jealous of everyone’s fabulous holidays and days out and I’m just, you guessed it, washing, tidying, shopping…. I’m losing weight by the stone, I sleep more on the sofa than in bed, I can’t even hold an adult conversation anymore. God im depressing myself just reading this. I found this by googling SAHM so lonely at midnight. That’s how lonely I am.

    • Oh my gosh I just read your post and started bawling because this is so me! I only have 3 but my youngest 2 are barely a year apart so with a 18 month old and a 5 month old plus a 3 year old I barely can keep up with just simple daily tasks! And trying to even take all of them out to a play date is more work than it’s worth. I have a hard time making it to 8pm also dinner time rolls around and I wish the kids were asleep so I could just fall over. Thanks so much for your comment it helps to know I’m not the only one consumed by the house and kids.

  17. Thank-you for writing this. It’s all true . My kids are grown now and on their way out and I feel like I got my pink slip. Plus along the way I ve injured myself so going back to work is going to be tricky . Now I just feel stuck.

  18. This is so true for me. I had joined a Moms group in my town but the moms are very cliquey and have their inner groups and just not very friendly. Plus I’m a working mom and most of them don’t have to work and have a lot of money so it’s hard. I’m very lonely And am
    Happy to know I’m
    Not alone in feeling this way. Thanks Shawn!

  19. Im so glad I found this! Someone just asked me the other day “What are your hobbies?” I thought about it long and hard and everything I came up with had something to do with the children. I realized that I have absolutely nothing I enjoy to do with out children involved. I feel like I’m losing myself, drowning in a sea of children. I thought something was wrong with me because I am starting to become uninterested in being a Mother. I am a single mother of 4 children, one being 13 years old. Everything in this post hit it right on the nose for me. My social life away from the kids is my job. Im extremely strict on the routine I’ve set in place. On my days off I find myself looking forward to going back to work so I don’t have to hear “mom!” I never want to leave the house. When I do get free time I have no idea what to do, so I sit at home because all I really want is peace and quiet.

  20. SAHM with two little ones in a new country. Feeling quite alone since hubby is away all the time and we only see him 3-4 days a month. Language barrier making it hard to meet people and make friends. Its so tough.

  21. I’m a new mom and struggling to find community. I am a teacher half days, so it makes it difficult to be part of my work community or find a mom community. My mornings are spent with my daughter, and I love having those few hours with her every day. Then I rush off to school, teach for a few hours, and rush home exhausted. I feel like I’m always in either mom or teacher mode where someone else constantly needs me. I am thankful for my husband, as he helps out a lot and is very encouraging. But we just aren’t sure how to meet other parents who we would click with well… and how do parents find time to socialize?

    • Finding time is so very challenging … and it does get a little easier when the kids are older but even then we’re busy with activities. I think the important thing is to always keep the right people in your life and stay open to the people that fill you up.

  22. I related so much to the introvert part.

    I worked in banking, 50 hours a week, right up until my water broke with my first child. I intended to go back to work, but realized I did not want to hand my child to a stranger to raise. It was the best decision I ever made.

    For a year, I worked part time. My husband would be home by 3pm, and I would work 4pm-9pm several days a week. I liked the job, and made a friend.

    Then my husband got a position (with better pay), but hours that didn’t enable me to work even part time. Then I experienced a fall out with my friend (through no fault of my own). So I am back to the isolation. I am in my mid 20s, so most people my age are just getting married or looking at moving out.

    I think the biggest factor in maintaining and making friends is proximity. For example, when we quit a job, it’s hard to maintain a friendship with the people from that job because you no longer see each other frequently, and do not have that common demoninator of the work place. It’s easy to drift. When you’re a SAHM, you don’t see the same people regularly.

    I did find that going to therapy helps. It enabled me to learn about myself, even a skill I didn’t know I had. It also gets you out of the house, and you get to talk to another adult.

    And I try to think of it like this: even women in the workforce are lonely. It’s rare to go without work place drama or even like your coworkers. (Not to sound harsh or negative).

    Thank you for this post.

  23. My struggle is mostly because of time. I work from 8:30 to 18:00 and come home almost exclusively to bath my kid and sleep. It hurts me that I don’t have too much time to be with him, much less to go out with one of my few friends and when it happens I do have time, introvert me does not want to know anything about going out or interacting with someone. Moms from school are not my kind of people either (with the whats app group and always asking what the homework is and so on). I just feel I can’t do it.

  24. Brill post. I totally agree with all of these. You know what though… When I had my first I attended loads of mum and tot groups. I successfully made a few good friends and contacts and they were a lifeline. Then I had my second. Between another baby and nursery runs (now school runs) and all those friends I had made had second and third kids and/or went back to work and the connections became impossible to keep up. Also meeting old friends who have 3 kids with my 2- it’s impossible to hold a conversation. Does anyone agree? As for mums and tots groups, they are so boring to me now. Maybe I’m sick of talking about kids?
    Having said all this. I’m lonely. My days are busy. I love being with my kids. But I’m lonely. And its probably my own doing as I’m not willing to put myself out there. I look forward to going back to work. But I shouldn’t wish these years away.
    Can anyone relate?

  25. This article is a blessing to my life. I constantly see others together and people bragging on social media about how great their friends are and I’m over here at home alone. My mindset is very different than other people in my area even though I live smack dab in the middle of most of the largest cities in America. I do want those long meaningful conversations where most people in my circles just want the shallow ones, the materialistic ones. It hurts to feel this way and I wish I didn’t. It’s refreshing to see that I am not alone

  26. I really related to this article and all the comments. I’ve been the SAHM who felt very isolated and did not find that much joy in the mom group thing. I would force myself to do those things and I would also try to organize opportunities to socialize but it was hard because we all usually had the kids with us so it ended up defeating the purpose of socializing and getting to know each other. Now I’m a about to become a divorced mom due to my husband deciding the grass was greener. I moved away from what I had and attending graduate school for a second Masters degree while trying to full-time parent my kids who are thankfully a bit more independent as they’re both in elementary school but its still incredibly challenging. What’s interesting is I’m not so isolated in terms of friendships. I’ve met many other women who are neighbors or friends of theirs that I see at the pool who are in the same situation. I’ve also learned to interact with women 10-15 years younger in my graduate program. It has also forced me to reflect and look at my personal interests again rather than putting them last as I always did prior. I realize if I don’t advocate for me and that part of me that doesn’t revolve around motherhood nobody else will. I find a babysitter and make myself go out once a month even if its just tapas or drinks. There is more I would like to do and there are hobbies to explore but I will have to wait until I finish school for that but I think as moms we have to do that. There is much more to us than being a mother but its easy for us (and others) to forget that. In a way my unfortunate circumstances (and some of the women I have met) have created opportunities for friendship and a unique type of community. While things definitely aren’t ideal and I’m lonely in terms of not having a lifelong companion and raising kids solo (that part can really suck I won’t sugarcoat it) I have somehow now formed some pretty meaningful friendships and actually feel support that I didn’t when I was SAHM with a husband. Go figure.

  27. I’m in the middle of sobbing alone in my room because I’m sick, no one gives me a break or even a little bit of kindness, I have a million things that need to get done today before I go back to work and my toddler won’t cooperate and by the time he does the infant needs to breastfeed again. I’m so lonely and feeling so unloved and like I gave everything good about myself away. My friends don’t have children and think I’m avoiding them because I don’t have time for going out or even long phone calls. My mom friend only has one whose older. I’m working 40 hrs a week and there’s not enough money or time for anything. I fee like an angry nagging matron in an institution instead of a wife and mother. I’m not sure if I’m depressed or if this is really just this hard but I’m overwhelmed and it helps to know I’m not the only one in this situation. I’m just trying to hold on day by day and maybe meditation or something to get a few seconds to myself. Thanks for the release and for the little shot of positivity.

    • Oh, Mama. I hope you can sign up for The Abundant Mama Online Program. You are NOT alone. There are tons of other mamas out there who are rooting for you. You just need to find them. We can be that community. xoxo

  28. Thank you for this, and all the comments. My son just turned one, and I’ve been trying to fix, deny and quickly problem solve what I need to admit is loneliness and isolation. I am an introvert, before having my son we moved to a rural area (which I loved especially when I was still working), my family lives states away, my husband is a first responder and is away 2-3 days/nights at a time and my closest friend/mom-friend moved away a week ago. I have this deep sense of desperation around finding my community and niche as I experience parenthood. I do love being home with my son, and I have been pushing back tears all day and feeling like there is something wrong with me. I too am plagued by social media images of loving communities. I tried going to a party at a newer friend’s home yesterday, and left feeling even more isolated because I just felt so alone with my son there. He was exploring and getting into everything, and there wasn’t a person there who was able to relate to the work it takes having a curious one year old in a home with things and people who don’t know what to make of him. People just watched as I tried to redirect him. I felt like a failure and like my son and I were on stage. The worst part is that, I showed up and tried to make the effort, despite my introversion, and it didn’t work. I always have built deep friendships at work. It was hard not to get to know people and become part of their lives, but I all of a sudden feel like a total fish out of water -like I have no idea how to connect, and a sense of shame accompanying that. I feel like I should be able to do this, but I don’t know how. It’s hard, and I’m really feeling it today. Thanks everyone for sharing. It really helps.

  29. The last one especially and you try to be brave and put yourself out there then the conversation feels like it turns into a competition. We’re doing this and that when you just wanted real conversation about the struggle. As a Mom community we have to stop trying to out-Mom each other. Or maybe that’s just my experience?

  30. Great read! I am very much an introvert that is trying so hard to step out, but I feel that other moms are not interested! It is hard to meet others in your situation that are willing to connect back!

  31. Just stumbled upon this page, while googling, and I have to say that just reading your words and the words of those commenting make me feel a little better about having no friends. I’m a SAHM of Irish twins (3yo and 2yo) and my husband works long hours doing manual labor. I find myself busy with holding down the fort, but long for just one real friend to have an intellectual conversation with. I’m someone who’s hard to deal with at times, and have very little tolerance for others. I’ve been burnt so many times by “friends” since I was a little girl, and have put up a wall to keep people as an acquaintance.

  32. My kids are 19 and 12 and I feel isolated all the time my husband works nights. I find myself missing the kids when they were younger. I feel sad when I want to go to a pumpkin patch or fair and my kids are the oldest . Also any new person I meet they turn into stage one clinger and I cannot stand not having my space. And I get tired of going out as well
    I sound depressed right?

  33. I’m so happy to have found this page. Reading your post has made me realize that there are other moms like me who strive to make lasting friendships but are met with reluctance. I have been a stay at home mom for 4 years and have looked for other outlets to help keep me sane, but it has been rather difficult. I have no friends and hardly any family to help support me, while my husband works nights and some weekends. It’s nice to know there are other women out there who struggle to make friends like I do and that I am not alone in this feeling.

  34. I am a sahm of a 10yr old girl and 5 years old ENERGETIC twin boys. My days consist of Picking up and dropping kids, groceries, laundry, cooking and cleaning, homework, bathing, and yes putting the boys to bed. By the time I’m done I’m so exhausted I fall asleep playing candy crush. My hubby works long hours and weekends so when he gets home he is exhausted as well. Hubby helps out when he is home. My parents live 6 hours away and my mom in law lives close but doesn’t babysit. I am practically alone with needy kids and no adults to talk to. I have tried connecting in church groups but I don’t seem to fit in, or maybe I have my guard up and have become an extremely introverted person. I used to drink wine often during the week out of boredom waiting for husband to come home. But I noticed my waistline was not having it so now I got to the gym but that’s still an isolated event. I know that I’m sacrificing for my children but I’m ready to go back to school and then get a job.

    • It can be SO hard … thank you for sharing your story and I hope you will take our online class and be a part of our honest community to discuss issues like these. xoxo hugs to you!

  35. These posts have made me really happy, but also sad ( as tears run down my cheeks) I gave birth naturally at 45 years of age,I did not think I could have a child and had happily given up, just enjoying my work with Horses. I am a TYPE O Negative Mother that attacked the baby and miscarried many times before, so had given up ( thought I was in menopause, but guess not) My son is beautiful, a delight , but being a SAHM is the hardest, Lonliest thing I have ever done. All that freedom I had for 45 years snatched away! I do have a loving Husband, but hate him since the babies birth ( WHY?? Maybe other Mamas can answer that!) We have been together 16 years, but the baby was like throwing a bomb in the room and our relationship has never been the same!
    I live on the edge of the Outback in Australia, and people here are not friendly. I long for deep conversation. I lived in America for 20 years and had wonderful friends there, but find Aussie’s to be cold and closed.
    I hate how Mothers are so competitive here, I hate that-I wish we could just support each other! So glad to have found this community online!

    • I’m so sorry you had SUCH a traumatic experience. It can take years of hard work to move beyond a birth experience like this. And yes to the feelings you are having. OWN them. In our AMP class and alumni community we really work on these inner issues because you have discovered that until they are dealt with they will haunt you for sure. I hope you join our class and our tribe. I struggle with making friends where I live, too, believe it or not. Finding the RIGHT people is hard. xoxoxo HUGS xoxoxo

    • Oh my I wish you lived in my ‘hood, I know we’d be friends! I had my kids late too and I agree it’s really hard to connect with young moms. I don’t have their energy and I get asked if I’m the grandmother! I look good for 55 but come on, Humiliating! Everyone is so busy and I’m so lonely. I hate to admit it bc I feel like I’m complaining about something I always wanted (kids, supportive husband). I just never knew how boring it would be! I’m coping by planning for the future. It’s hard

      • Yes, we WOULD be friends and help each other out and support each other. It would be ideal … ha. I hear you on everyone else being younger. It was such a good idea to wait … and LIVE before kids. :)

  36. My husband/I didn’t grow up where we live and raise our kids. Our families live 2/3 hrs away. So it’s just us and our 4 and 8 yr old. I have met some amazing moms that I’m friends with but, as far as getting together, we just do sometimes cause our schedules are so hectic. I’ve tried meeting more moms in my kids classes to help my kids friendships as well be stronger bonds. I’ve seen that if the moms know you they tend to set up play dates together more. I feel like I’m asking a girl on a date when I ask a mom for coffee. It makes me so uncomfortable.Most have said yes, but some have, nicely saying no. It makes me feel like their shutting my kids and me out. And that hurts. If all the parents just let our kids choose who they wanted to hang out with instead of parents choosing, I think things would go over better for everyone. I don’t know how to feel included or excepted to some of the mom circles. And so I remind myself, what’s important here? I don’t remember my mom hanging out much with other moms and I had plenty of friends. This is the important time to teach and play and love our kiddos, before I know it they’ll all be in college and what will making efforts to be with moms circles and kids really do? The only answer that I think of that makes me want to keep trying is my kids confidence and strong bonds with friends! I pray that they get both of those things with or without a circle of moms with their kids to always be around. One mom that I was friends with decided not to include my child anymore to parties she would throw because my child called her child’s water bottle a baby bottle one time and hurt their feelings?! My child apologize but, didn’t help. I offered to meet for coffee to talk, she replied let’s talk together with the teacher?! So I said, ok and set it up, the teacher told me that mom refused to go to meeting. So she’s continuing to harbor this baby bottle thing and ignore my kids. I say kids because she has another kid that’s the same age as my other one and she throws parties for that age group to sometimes. Ignoring my 2nd child as well?! This crazy bizarre situation that I think is ridiculous has made me 2nd guess moms sometimes now?! I don’t care about that crazy mom, but I do care about my kids and everyone’s kids!

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