The Secret to Finding the Balance Between Doing and Being

The Secret to Finding the Balance Between Doing and Being

The struggle between doing and being is real.

Whenever I think my family is busy doing their own thing, I have a little ritual that I do.

I sneak into my chair (that is in my Abundant Mama corner of our living room) and I turn on some music and close my eyes in order to do nothing.

When the children are busy always seems like a great time to take care of myself.

Or so it seems.

I sit down, get comfortable and become absorbed in the act of doing nothing and it feels really delicious …

But then I get interrupted. The flow is gone in a matter of seconds. My brain is now whipped back into the place of focusing on doing, not being.

Maybe it’s a request or question from a family member.

Or maybe it’s my own thoughts of realizing something urgent needs done — the laundry still sitting in the washer, dinner needs started, a call needs made.

Most of the women I work with — all moms — struggle with finding the balance between doing and being.

I’ve said that this is very much one of the biggest modern mother conflicts of our time.

We struggle with the shoulds, the needs, the wants and the musts — and the deep need to care for ourselves by allowing more white space and lots of margins of error in our day.

We are often in the zone of doing when what we really want is to be in the zone of being.  And can be an endless cycle.  I believe we can and should be doing BOTH -- doing and being.  But How? How do we make more time for being without sacrificing the doing?  And, more importantly, why should we?

Why do we struggle so much between doing and being?

Erica over at Let Why Lead writes about this perfectly.

“Many of us juggle so much. We’re keeping kids alive and trying our best to raise them how we want to. We’re helping them foster their interests while we try desperately not to forget our own. We’re working outside of the home or from within the home or a continually changing combo of the two. We’re clocking minute after minute of exercise as we try to get our “pre-baby” bodies back. (And we’re spending plenty of mental energy wondering if that’s even possible.) We’re trying to keep our marriages vital and we’re volunteering at church and school. Half out of necessity and half out of a deeply held desire, we’re nurturing our friendships and trying to be there for our people.

It’s a lot.

But worse, *it all feels important.*

When it ALL feels important

There is simply NOT enough time to do all the things we must, should and want to do — AND just be in the world so that we can notice the beauty and soak up the wonder, especially with our children.

We are often in the zone of doing when what we really want is to be in the zone of being.

And can be an endless cycle.

I believe we can and should be doing BOTH — doing and being.

But How? How do we make more time for being without sacrificing the doing?

And, more importantly, why should we?

We are often in the zone of doing when what we really want is to be in the zone of being.  And can be an endless cycle.  I believe we can and should be doing BOTH -- doing and being.  But How? How do we make more time for being without sacrificing the doing?  And, more importantly, why should we?

What is the Secret to Balancing Doing and Being?

Honestly, it’s not about WHAT we’re doing but about HOW we’re doing it.

We do a hundred things in a day — many of us surpass that number, by the way — but unless we do them in a slow, intentional way we’ll never FEEL like we’re caught up and engaged in our lives.

The secret to finding the balance between doing and being is releasing that sense of urgency that we apply to EVERYTHING.

Understanding that not everything has to be done this second is the beginning …

Running at full speed toward all the shoulds, musts, needs and wants all day long means running away from the life we want most — slow, intentional, joyful and beautiful.

Slowing down long enough to make even washing dishes feel nourishing or using bathtime as nourishing time for ourselves is the key to juggling the musts and the wants — as well as the doing and the being.

If we continue to let society tell us how to define “getting things done” in work and home and how to manage our families or be productive … we will never be in charge of ourselves and our happiness.

I love to show women how to live the Abundant Mama Way, which teaches busy moms to get up and take very intentional and purposeful steps toward living the life you want — and to embrace the beauty of each day.

It’s different than the neck-breaking pace of go-go-go and do-do-do.

It’s about making a huge impact by adopting the less is more mentality.

But it only works when we put all the tools into practice — daily.

We are often in the zone of doing when what we really want is to be in the zone of being.  And can be an endless cycle.  I believe we can and should be doing BOTH -- doing and being.  But How? How do we make more time for being without sacrificing the doing?  And, more importantly, why should we?

I taught myself and now I teach women like you how to be true to yourself by helping you see the value in slowing down and focusing on the beauty — and releasing the shoulds and musts, especially those that have a false sense of urgency.

Being present. Showing up. Putting play at the top of your list rather than work or cleaning. AND how to work and clean — or anything else — with JOY.

We have to design the life we want to live and we CAN do that. We’re not stuck … we’re not trapped.

  • If you want more joy you can design motherhood to be more joyful.
  • If you want peace you can design your motherhood story to be more about peaceful living.
  • If you want abundance and money, you can design your family life to put that first, too.

The options and stories and ways to live the Abundant Mama Way is endless.

I’m super excited and READY to offer a brand new session of The Abundant Mama Online Program that will begin on Jan. 23. Registrations begin on Jan. 2. Get on the waitlist to be the first to register in order to save your seat.

Designing the life we want is the first step.

Implementing it and staying accountable to it so the urgent — and important — doesn’t take over every single second of our days is the ESSENTIAL step.

What your life looks like is purely up to you — and the life you want to design for yourself.

ANSWER THIS: What is the life you want to design for yourself …
and HOW are you going to do that?

Design the Family Life YOU WANT and get on the Waitlist now for

The Abundant Mama Online Program. 

(The Next Session begins April 24, 2017)

2 Responses to The Secret to Finding the Balance Between Doing and Being

  1. Thank you for the permission to design motherhood how we want to it be, Shawn. I’ve been craving joy. It’s such an important piece of self-care, which in itself is so easy to let go of when there’s “SO MUCH TO DO!” Lovely reminder that it’s not all urgently important right this very second, and certainly not all more important than enjoyment and self-care.

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Shawn Fink - Abundant MamaFrom Our Founder

I created The Abundant Mama Project to inspire overwhelmed, busy mothers to slow down and let go of the worries and concerns that are holding them back from experiencing joyful motherhood. Read More »
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