5 Calm Parenting Mantras for Mamas trying to Balance it All

5 Calm Parenting Mantras for Mamas trying to Balance it All

 

We just wrapped up another round of the Abundant Mama e-course, an online class that’s all about establishing more meaningful self-care routines, appreciating your life more as a mother and (ultimately) about changing your entire mindset about motherhood (and marriage) so you can nurture your family.

As always, every time my team and I run another round of the class, I naturally start analyzing my own motherhood mindset.

I juggle a lot of things in my family. The schedule. The meals. The driving to all the activities. The filling out of all the forms. The social calendar.

And then, I run my amazing, heart-centered business, too.

No wonder I’ve been feeling on edge, if not a bit cranky (writing helps keep me sane, just so we’re clear).

It was when I found myself feeling a real pull between mom and woman this weekend that I realized I needed to spice up my own motherhood mantras, again.

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The last time I wrote about mantras it was all about parenting mantras. This time, though, the self-talk isn’t so much about motherhood as it is about our longings to complete a task and being unable to do so.

In other words, Mother, Interrupted (fun movie reference).

Isn’t this the hard part of motherhood? The part where we long to be more than a mother, even if it’s just to be the cook who makes dinner without a tantrum or a sibling fight or to be the maid who wants to once and for all tackle the mess on the table.

Or the mother who wants to be a writer but can’t sit down for more than 10 minutes at a time to write anything. Or the mother who wants to be fit but her baby cries as she jogs in the stroller.

This. is. motherhood. The gray areas. The in-between. The pushing and shoving and clawing to find our space, our time, our breathing room.

And when it doesn’t happen, when it’s hard or impossible, we start to question if it will ever happen. We start to wonder if there’s something wrong with US. And we start to carry guilt. Loads of guilt, in fact. And we read other people’s stories that tell us we’re doing something wrong because we have dreams and goals and hobbies and pleasures — that aren’t just our kids.

And we think, nope, I’m not good enough.

Guess what?

You are enough. There’s nothing wrong with you. You are not alone. We’re all distracted. We’re all chasing dreams/goals/wishes/hopes — yes, even if it’s just to clean the kitchen.

There’s nothing wrong with trying to be both a productive woman and a present mama — as long as you accept that it does take work and practice (all the stuff we work on in the e-course) and a ton of patience.

There’s nothing wrong with trying to be a present and mindful mama who takes care of herself and her needs WHILE also wanting to be the best mom you can be.

This is how we find our happy place. And when we know how to find our happy place, this is how we teach our children to find their happy place.

So I offer these Calm Parenting mantras today to help you manage the daily struggle of staying present while chasing a dream.

 

For when you are feeling overwhelmed …

I have everything I need right now.

 

For when you cannot complete any task or wish or dream …

I’ll try again tomorrow.

 

For when you long for more than you have …

This is the life I always wanted.

 

For when it’s been a long day and you made mistakes.

I am always just doing my best. We all are.

 

For when your mind is drifting and you don’t want it to …

Be here now.

DISCUSS: What do you think? Is is possible to be a present, mindful mama — and chase after a dream/goal/hobby/wish?
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17 Responses to 5 Calm Parenting Mantras for Mamas trying to Balance it All

  1. I wonder if it is possible for me to be a present mama without my hobbies/dreams/wishes? It is the end place I have to be careful about. Who knows how long it will take?! That is when these sweet mantras come in very handy.

    • I think there are some women who have found peace with no dreams or goals or wishes … but that’s not for everyone — or even most of modern mothers. Patience is the key … and understanding that we’re not in this to get everything today. We’re just here to live like today is it.

    • Stop wondering and just start taking baby steps — things you can do when the kids are around, ya know?

  2. Absolutely it is possible. I think it is all in finding a balance, like most things, a balance of giving inward (to ourselves while being present & mindful) & outward (to our families). It also takes a true understanding & belief that taking care of yourself & following your own heart will only ripple outward with positively to benefit our kids & family. If we are happy, we have a fuller tank to give from. I believe and we also set an example to our kids about self care & it’s importance. If you keep these things in your mind you ARE present & mindful while chasing dreams & doing our hobbies.

  3. I LOVE these anchoring mantras! With nearly nonstop interruptions (my daughter is 2.5 years old) I find I don’t have as much time to dream as I’d like. My dreaming and writing time is early in the morning before she wakes up. It’s too hard during the day to get anything other than tidbits done and by the time she’s in bed I’m wiped out. Thanks you for your website, I feel like I’m not on this crazy journey alone.

  4. I love your emails Shawn; they are inspiring.

    I can’t begIn to tell you the year our family has had, how do you fInd a balance while under constant stress, tight and temporary livIng conditions without beIng resentful?

    I would love to get there!

    Cheers
    Kira

    • Sounds like you need to take the e-course, Kira! Check it out. There’s about 60 mamas signed up already …

  5. I am in the fog of this discovery.
    I am a mom of three girls Ages: five, eight-teen months and almost two months.
    I am done having my children and trying to find the balance of being present in the moments of my three girls. I always say we need to “be here in the moment.” unfortunately this world revolves around money to survive and technology to entertain and we can become lost in these distractions. But I will continue to be the best me I can be as a woman and a mother, even though some days I just need to a few minutes to cry. These mantras made me smile today!
    Thank you for the positivity!!!

    xoxo Kay

  6. […] full of love. I love that she has found that special balance of loving motherhood and loving taking care of herself, too.   It’s really hard to believe that before she went through The Abundant Mama Project […]

  7. Yes, I do think it is possible, but a mama must really be cognizant of it, aware and awake to her needs, and PLAN. Otherwise, no, life will sweep you up in it, and your children (and husband, and house, and career) may very well suck every ounce of energy out of you that you have.
    It’s got to be a proactive thing. Visualizing my perfect day helps, though it might not always work :)

  8. Great question, Shawn – and yes, I do think it’s possible to be both present in your parenting and chasing your hobbies/dreams, if you’re able to embrace the constantly shifting balance. I think the key is adjusting your expectations of what you might realistically accomplish given the age and stage your kids are in at the moment, and what else is going on in your life. Sometimes chasing your dreams might be as simple as flipping through Flickr images for 10 minutes before bed, filling your head with inspiration for another day (or week, or month, or even year…). Or taking 5 minutes to draw in your sketchbook, even if you have to hide out in the bathroom to do it. Sometimes we get caught up in feeling that an action is too small to be worthwhile but it’s the accumulation of all the tiny actions that makes the difference.


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Shawn Fink - Abundant MamaFrom Our Founder

I created The Abundant Mama Project to inspire overwhelmed, busy mothers to slow down and let go of the worries and concerns that are holding them back from experiencing joyful motherhood. Read More »
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