How fast do you recover from a really challenging moment?
A few minutes?
Half a day?
This week, I began a three-part series on Resilience in Motherhood and Life on The Abundant Mama Show. You can follow along here: PART ONE // PART TWO // PART THREE
The thing about resilience is that it’s powerful in all areas of our lives.
Of course, in parenting our kids but also in marriage, creativity and work as well as restoring our mental and emotional capacities.
Too many moms fall victim to the daily struggles of motherhood. I know — that used to be me, too.
And while I still have my moments from time to time when things feel really hard, I also can honestly say that I bounce back so much faster and easier than ever thanks to the nourishing soul care and family wellness practices I started putting into place more than ten years ago.
These are the same practices that so many moms have had their own success with adopting to become more resilient themselves through my popular digital program for moms who need to learn a better way to care for themselves and their family so they stay balanced and grounded in life and motherhood.
Being an Abundant Mama IS the practice of being resilient.
And … resilience is radical self-care in action.
When we finally no longer succumb to those lower than low lows, we are treating ourselves with a new kind of respect and dignity — and that is radical self-care.
The moment we finally resist the notion that lows must be a part of our story, we’re creating a radical approach to being human.
And when we finally embrace the idea that we don’t have to let others bring us down with their emotional drama and roller coasters and that we can create our own balance of groundedness and rootedness, we’re creating new kind of self-care that isn’t about LEAVING our life.
That’s why being resilient is radical self-care in action. It protects us and guards us from those ultimate lows that throw us off balance over and over and over.
Resilience can be a powerful indicator of a woman who is feeling strong and confident — and worthy.
I’ve been helping moms around the world become more resilient for years and once they see how amazing they can feel on a regular basis — even after a challenging life moment — they are hooked and the evidence is amazing.
To me, the entire Abundant Mama Journey is ultimately about being Resilient Moms — about learning to dance in the rain, water the garden and pick the flowers — despite the struggles.
When we are the opposite of resilient we can easily end up stuck in the Land of Bitter and Sour … depressed … angry.
But when we are resilient … we are empowered, strong, calm and peaceful.
And yet there’s more than that involved. We can’t just BE peaceful or be resilient. There’s a few practices that build a resilient foundation for ourselves, our self-care and our family wellness.
A Resilient Mom is someone who …
No. 1 — Trusts Herself
She trusts herself to make the kinds of decisions that will be effective for the long-term rather than caving to a trend or someone’s half-hearted advice.
HOW IS THIS RADICAL SELF-CARE? Because we no longer doubt ourselves. Doubting ourselves creates inner turmoil. There’s nothing more nourishing than putting away the research and what ifs and the shoulds and just surrendering to listening to our higher power within.
No. 2 — Is Flexible.
She is bendy and goes with the flow. Being Bendy is one of the 10 Habits of Highly Effective Mamas.
HOW IS THIS RADICAL SELF-CARE? When we can bounce back from uncertainty, mistakes, chaos, drama and all the other pitfalls of joy and happiness, we create a new reality for ourselves. We will not be knocked over by things out of our control.
No. 3 — Dismisses mistakes
She is fully flawed as a human and she gets that and she chalks it up to being a real mom with real kids in real life. Perfectionism is something she can’t be bothered with. She also dismisses her children’s mistakes — once the lesson has been learned.
HOW IS THIS RADICAL SELF-CARE? When we choose to accept our imperfections rather than berate ourselves over our mistakes, this is the ultimate form of self-love and self-care.
No. 4 — Sees the Beauty
Yes, there are challenges but within those challenges there are beautiful lessons and ideas that wouldn’t have been obvious otherwise. She sees the goodness in all of her struggles.
HOW IS THIS RADICAL SELF-CARE? When we finally change our stories — even the hardest ones we didn’t ask for in life — into stories that mean power and abundance we finally see that our struggles aren’t the cause of our pain. OUR stories are the cause of our pain. One of the most nourishing things we can do for ourselves is to finally stop repeating a story we’ve been telling ourselves.
No. 5 — She Knows How to Care for Herself
She’s on a path to always improving her game. She’s happy with herself and she honestly know she’s enough but she also knows there is always room for improvement. Tomorrow is a new day to try again and do even better.
HOW THIS THIS RADICAL SELF-CARE? When we no longer tie our worth up into everyone else making us happy and we start to create our own joyful living practice we aren’t stuck in a rut. We don’t have time to wallow in self-pity. OUR future is up to US. There is so much beauty in creating that kind of inner joy for ourselves.